Rubbing My Magic Lamp for SITScation

I have been sitting in my house for the last month or so rubbing this lamp. I mean I am worse than a 15 year old boy when the wind blows rubbing on this thing. I wish and pray, man do I pray, for many things. I especially show my gratitude. One thing I was taught was to express how grateful I am for the things in my life before asking for answered prayers. No matter how petty, how small, how minuscule, how stupid to others, I am thankful. I think everyone should be thankful no matter what.

Anyway, so despite my positive thinking, despite the good karma I have been generating for YEARS now (with no avail), despite my prayers, and now despite my lamp, I. am. stuck.

I am stuck with no way to go to BlogHer, okay, I will live, there are other years, plus who knows, I might just be another face or blog, no one special right?!

I am stuck with no way to go to SITScation. This one bugs me because the location is in Las Vegas. Geographically I live less than six hours from Las Vegas, I can drive there faster than it would to park at the airport, go through security get on the plane, and get to my hotel. Plus SITScation is a quaint, small, group of women who do nothing but empower. I love that.

BlogHer you would be just another face, more of a "OMG I so went to BlogHer" as a way of bragging. Seriously, some women who say they are going to Blog Her talk like Kim Kardashian wearing a new pair of Jimmy Choo's......make me gag! I have heard more intelligent life speak.

So SITScation is a huge deal. This quaint setting would be a perfect way for me to learn, in a small atmosphere. I wouldn't be herded in like cattle. I can network with these women to the hilt, learn to be a better blogger, learn to be a better marketing proponent in the women's arena, learn to market and pitch better. (Really those are in the bag for me...been in sales for more than half my life (16 years to be exact), so a pitch is the easiest thing to do. I mean I can sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves.......yeah, I am that good.) But I can learn to gain a wider audience. Basically I can learn learn learn, and network network network.

The best part is.....if someone would sponsor me (as I sheepishly stand there, batting my bold blue eyes, exposing just a sample of my award winning smile) I would be so appreciative. I mean I would let you advertise on my body for free! I would let you advertise on my blog.....for FREE! Use me as your vessel, use me to further your purpose and mine. We can help each other. I can help you, you help me. And....I'm cheap! I would be splitting the room with my virtual BFF (one of them...I have a few, whom I hope to see at SITScation), I don't have airfare costs, and I am so low budget frugal friendly, and seriously I would be one of the more humbled and appreciative women on this Earth!!

So if any PR out there is feeling generous enough to send a Mom of three, a singleton and twins who has worked since she was 14, hasn't had a vacation in almost 10 years, and shows more gratitude than the Hallmark section I am your girl. If you have any questions of me email me, call me if need be, interview me, I have talents that are hard to post on a blog. I am a blogger, but first and foremost I have always been a face-to-face people person. Give me a chance, I can promise you won't be disappointed! I haven't had a boss, client, anyone EVER be disappointed when the subject comes to me delivering tangible or intangible good and services.

All In The Name Contest and Giveaway Part 1

Many of you may, or may not, have seen my post about the controversy I had started with my "Little Bitty" name for my soaps. Well some woman felt very threatened by the competition and I for one, would hate to feel like I stole her thunder, I so willing agreed to comply to a name change. Besides.....my soap is not little, in fact, the scent is HUGE and so are the bars. So I am bragging, whatever, at least I am confident in my abilities, you have to be in a doggy dog world.

Anyway, I have been stewing this weekend trying to devise a plan for a new name. I know I cannot do this job alone. I am not too proud to ask for help either, which is why I am asking YOU, my faithful friends, family, and readers to help me in the daunting task of formulating a new name for my soapery business.

Here are some helpful hints to play on:
My full name is Karie Noel Herring, Hudson is my maiden name, I live in Arizona, anything else you already know, or semi-know, or will know at the end of all of this! LOL

Here are the fun deets:

• Visit the blog that I share with my sisters, that we have neglected lately. (I can hear a whip cracking as I say that we have neglected this.)
• Come back and leave me a comment telling me a name you would suggest for the soap business.
  
• Come back and leave me a comment telling me which soap you would like to have, which soap and or bath item you would like to try, and what soap, scent, and formula (dry skin, sensitive, baby, etc) you would like to see made

Those are the basic entries, here are the extra credit ones!

• Fave my blog on Technorati (button at the top makes it easy. *wink)
• Stumble this post
• Follow me (if you don't already)
• Follow the blog I share with my sisters (if you don't already)
• Follow me on Twitter (if you don't already)
• Twitter this, get more ideas for names, post for the tweet and any new name ideas
  
• Blog about this Giveaway and Contest with a Link Back (worth 5 entries!)

~~~*** But remember, the first three deets must be completed before any extra entries will be accepted. The more names submitted, the more chances to win!~~~***

Now here is how the winner will be chosen. I personally....WILL NOT CHOOSE!! I know, how crazy of an idea is that!!?? Seriously, I am putting this task in your hands, the power of the people, how very democratic of me right?! Yup, so then I don't have to worry about hurting feelings! I will post all the names and you get a chance to vote on the name....and only one vote per person to be totally fair and allow everyone a chance to participate. So this is a 2-part giveaway!

What do you win when a name, or a few names are chosen? My bath products of course....but you will have to wait and see until Part 2 of the Giveaway and Contest!!
Part 1 of the giveaway ends July 13th at Midnight AZ Time.
Have fun!!

No More Little Bitty Soap

My shop that I named after my daughter, MY Little Bitty, is no longer. Some broad in Canada says she has a copyright. Actually that would be a TRADEMARK under intellectual property laws, but she would know that right? If she REALLY registered her name.....and had it protected under "international law"? Right? Right? What do I know about that...I am just a dumb SAHM.

Anyway, she sent me this nasty letter, that I will include for you all to read. So being that I am a nice person and very easy going, and had no ILL INTENTION AT ALL to "infringe" on her Etsy name, that obviously has not generated traffic which is why she is probably all bitter with me, but I am generous enough to change my name.

Now I am faced with a dilemma......................what to name the soap company. You can see my Little Bitty is not happy with this.

So I am going to do something FUN! And everyone gets to help me, share in the wealth, and get some free loot! Something for basically nothing!

I am going to post all my soaps for sale on the blog I share with my sisters, which has been so badly neglected. Sigh, but better than wracking up charges and headaches. Sheesh!

No more Little Bitty Soap.......the name will be?????????????????????????

YOU GET TO SUBMIT IDEAS AND NAMES!!!

That's right, and in favor, I will send some swag your way. How awesome is that!? I am working on all the details and the post as I type this one, but hang tight....because I have all sorts of new soaps that I have created in my little homemade apothecary slash soapery so lots to choose from, all for helping me out and being so fabulous!

Have fun reading this womans letter to me, I had fun deleting all my listings and then putting:
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE LITTLE BITTY SOAP COMPANY

I would hate for her to get all sorts of unnecessary traffic from poor, pity, little, bitty, me.

Little Bitty Soap Company
3357 Highway 97
Lac La Hache, B.C.
Canada
V0K 1T1
email: info [!at] littlebittysoapco.com

URGENT

Dear Sirs,

Re: Company Name

It has come to our attention that you are Using the Company name "Little Bitty Soap" in direct breach of our rights under International Copyright Law" ].

You have 10 days to remove the name "Little Bitty Soap" from Etsy and discontinue using the above listed company name in entirety , and confirm in writing to the address at the head of the letter that you will not repeat this infringement" ]

Failing this, we will apply for an injunction, and will also seek to recover costs and damages (plus interest) for your tortious acts and conduct.

This is our final communication to you on this matter, and we look forward to hearing from you as a matter of urgency.

Yours faithfully
Gillian DeConto, owner
Little Bitty Soap Company

I am Quitting my Job

This morning when Pickles Magoo, who I think we are going to call Seth-en-Stein from now on because he is FINALLY starting to walk, a little, walks like Frankenstein. Plus he is so big and bulky like Franken, so what the heck, sounds good. Seth-en-stein (with 80's zombies voice)

So Seth-en-Stein decides that 5 a.m. is the most fabulous time to start talking in my bed. I know dumb that he was even in my bed, but he was there because at 1 a.m. when you are praying for sleep because the big baby won't go to sleep, you let him snuggle with you. Which by the way I rarely do, I highly dislike other people in my bed. Anyway, Seth-en-Stein begins talking, singing, crawling all over DH and I. Ok, I can semi-ignore this and get a few more Z's. WRONG!

The little monster, I mean my little sweet boy, decides to start smacking DH and I because he thinks the sounds of slapping skin in hilarious! WRONG AGAIN! I try to go back to sleep yet again and put Seth-en-Stein on the floor to go play.

I have been SOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG today. He goes in and wakes up Big G and the Little Bitty. FANTASTIC!! Now everyone is awake and the time is barely reading 6 a.m. FABULOUS!

Big G decides to crawl in bed with DH and I, and then DH grabs Seth-en-Stein to throw him back in bed with us. WTF?! I mean seriously, are you kidding me? Now I am dealing with a ton of penises praying for intelligent life to show somewhere when I finally kick everyone out of bed!

I huff and storm out of the room, make coffee as LOUD as I can, even running the garbage disposal out of sheer spite and frustration, to no avail. DH is still in there, SNORING.

Oh and did I mention that my washer went out of commission last night....yeah! With a full load of water and laundry in it. I hope it is an easy fix, because seriously, I can't take it anymore!

At that point I decided to officially quit my job...........only I am not sure which one to quit!!!???

• Maid
• Nanny
• Chef
• Cook
• Baker
• Coffee Maker
• Gardener (oh crap....I need to go turn off the water! BRB)

• Landscaper
• Pool Guy
• Launderer
• Dish Washer
• Dog Groomer
• Dog Walker
• Garbage Man
• Recycle Extraordinaire
• Soap Maker
• Teacher
• Chauffeur
  
• Personal Shopper
• Sex Kitten
• Loan Officer
• Wife
• Mom

So seriously those are the only jobs that I can think of off hand with only a single cup of coffee and I am not sure which one to quit. Maybe after another cup of coffee I will quit one and ask for a raise, or maybe vacation time.

UPrinting Blog Sponsorship Rocks!

Not just because they have goods for me, but because they offer great discounts, get involved in the community, are green, I mean what else can you ask for? For instance, last night at my Busy Bee Mothers of Multiples meeting I could have chalked up tons of hits for the old blog by passing out cards from UPrinting. Just think about the opportunity to have business cards made with your name, blog, and URL to pass out to those you meet, promoting your blog, promoting UPrinting, getting the word out and promoting these incredible offers! Passing them out at BlogHer, Mom Summit, you name it!

UPrinting is great for all the great opportunities they offer bloggers, bloggers like me. I wanted to thank them and give a big shout out! You guys rock! In the meantime, here is the skinny on UPrinting and what they have to offer. I applied with them for my Mothers of Multiples Club. I mean 65 ladies with the support of UPrinting, who tell their husbands, friends, they tell their friends....that's a lot to go around for word of mouth promotion! Not to mention UPrinting is involved in Kiva to support growth in developing countries, just like Purex, how fantastic is that!

Why UPrinting.com isn't your average printing company:

Blog Sponsorships:
If you are looking to find a sponsor for your blog, UPrinting.com is definitely interested. We offer giveaways, advertising and more for qualified bloggers.

Non-Profit Sponsorships:
The U-Community Program sponsors hundreds of non-profits and education to improve our local communities.

Social Justice Projects:
The UPrinting Kiva account promotes small business growth in developing countries.

Green Printing:
UPrinting supports a sustainable future by recycling, using non-toxic inks, and offering eco-friendly recycled paper stocks for business cards and postcard printing.

Text Message Folly

Just the other day I was on my standard trip to Costco to load up on TONS of milk and miscellaneous that I need around the house. I really just need a freaking cow for crying out loud....you just cannot imagine the amount of milk three little gnomes can power through.

Anyway, I leave the house and totally space looking up where the nearest Whole Foods Market may be. I thought I might check them out for this specialty item I have been shopping for and haven't found....thinking they might have it. So I figure I would text the old little sister and see if she can Google the closest Whole Foods for me. Fantastic! Here is how our texts play out:

Me: B, can u look up the closest whole foods, plz.

B: The nearest Whole Foods is Tempe or Gilbert.

Me: That blows!!! CRAP

B: Goats or penises?

Now here is where the replies get tricky, my sister and I have great banter! Watch as I foul up my texts...I am such a dork!!

Me: Goats!!! Penises are YUMMO!!!

DH: What????

Me: What......

OH MY OH NO I DID NOT!! Oh! YES. I. DID. I. SENT. THAT. TEXT. TO. DH.

Now I was laughing hysterically, in the car mind you....yes texting while I am driving, but hey...safer than surfing the web on the old phone. I seriously thought I had the best reply....only to have that shattered by the old DH. Who was wondering why I was discussing penises via text and with whom I was discussing penises. I could not understand why my sister did not reply....now I understood. Sheesh for having those two so close on my contacts list. I had to look into my sent messages to find I sent the text to DH instead of my sister. I failed miserably at the texting that day. So I forwarded the text to her with this note:

Me: ......sent this text to C, on accident, shoulda gone to you......GOATS!! Penises are YUMMO!!

B: LMFAO!!!

Yes I am the texting noob queen. I will never text and drive again! At least not when I am talking about what blows....goats or penises!

Purex 3-In-1 Laundry Sheets Review and Giveaway!

Have you all seen the new Purex 3-In-1 laundry system?

I have to say I was so pumped when I applied to be a Purex Insider. I wanted to know what all the buzz was about. Now that the product is out I really really wanted to know how it worked and how well it worked! Well I was able to get the chance. But before I get into that here is the deal with Purex and how they are changing lives for women around the globe:

Purex is trying to change lives not only with this revolutionary product but also by helping others. They have teamed up with Angie Harmon and Kiva to support women owned businesses around the globe. Visit www.purexchangeslives.com to view the profiles of women-owned businesses. You can support a femal entrepreneur of your choice just by entering the bar code form any Purex Complete 3-in-1 Laundry Sheets. For every bar code entered, Purex will make a donation to a Kiva approved woman-owned business.

When I received the package I was totally ecstatic! I immediately called my sister and asked if she was part of the Mom Select product opportunity. She told me she had not seen anything yet. We gabbed and I immediately had to do laundry! I know I am a huge geek. But I had to see for myself if the product was really as phenomenal as everyone was saying.

Purex 3-in-1 Laundry Sheets come in three different scents: Tropical Escape, Spring Oasis, and Pure & Clean. The packaging comes in a starter pack which is the sheet holder and 20 sheets and refill packs. I got the starter pack, so all I have to do is buy refills.

So I did some laundry. They smelled clean. They smelled fresh. But were they soft and cuddly like my clothes normally turn out after washing and drying?

To be honest I love my clothes feeling like wet noodles, just oozing softness and reeking of softener. Only because I am weird like that. So while the clothes were clean and crisp, they were not to my softness standards. But I figured okay, they still have to go through the dryer, lets see how they stand up. Once out of the dryer they were dry, soft, but not the soft that I am used to.

I truly love the product. I mean look at the room it takes up in my laundry room as opposed to the bulky bottles and other stuff. Plus the ease of use, no more pushing that pain in the neck button to dispense the soap and the softener. Not to mention the drip messes! ICK



My next test was that of the "stain." Kids are kids, they are slobs and everything gets all over their clothes! My Little Bitty is the queen of stains. The girl can stain anything, anywhere, anytime if you give her something she will make it a stain somehow. So here is her shirt the night we had spaghetti (Tuesday night). I pre-treat all my clothes in Holy Cow, and if you have never heard of or used Holy Cow....HOLY COW are you missing out! Go check that post out later.
But I treated Little Bitty's shirt with Holy Cow and threw it in the wash. Her shirt did not turn out the way I had hoped, remnants of the spaghetti sauce still remained, which required me to throw the shirt back into the laundry for yet another washing. However, the box does state that larger loads or dirtier loads may require an additional sheet....so maybe this might have helped.

All in all, I think the product is great, maybe a little more tweaking with the softener and detergent potency, but again, a great product! Plus look at all the extra space in the laundry room!

Now that I have had a chance to test out this fantastic product one of my lucky readers will enjoy the opportunity to WIN their very own starter package of Spring Oasis Purex 3-in-1 Laundry Sheets! Here are the rules....and remember rules are rules, everyone play fair!

THESE HAVE TO BE DONE PRIOR TO ANY ADDITIONAL ENTRIES. IF NOT, NO ENTRY.

• Go to the Purex site and tell me why the Laundry Sheets are better.
• Check out the entrepreneurs and let me know which one you would support with this package.
  

Extra entries

• Follow this blog (or tell me you already do!)
  
• Subscribe to my feed, or tell me you do (I do verify! So no monkey business)
  
• Follow me on Twitter (or tell me you already do)
• Tweet this giveaway and what it supports
  
• Stumble this post, come back and tell me you did.
  
• Fave my blog on Technorati (or tell me you already have)
• Blog about this, spread the word about empowering women around the globe, come back and leave me the link. (Worth 5 extra entries, be sure to post a comment for each entry)

~~**CONTEST ENDS MIDNIGHT JULY 10TH ARIZONA TIME.**~~

Please leave me a valid email address. Scavenger hunts are not my forte! No valid email address no opportunity to win. Also remember, follow the first two rules in order to be considered for the giveaway. Good luck to each of you!

Mrs. Fish's Thursday Tips and Tricks

Meal time is always the worst part of my day. Any meal. Any time of the day. HORRIBLE!

I have four people who have no idea what they want to eat, stand with the fridge door wide open saying "What do we have to eat" when the fridge is full, and no one can agree on the same thing.

So I have learned to set out a ton of meats, fish, and chicken during the week and basically whip up either favorites, new dishes, a little gourmet, or a little of "Not sure what this is....but it's freaking good!"

My tips and tricks are with food....I truly hate food. Food and meals are my demons. But here is how we fish survive in the tank when someone else isn't feeding us (aka takeout):

• Casseroles. You can't go wrong with any sort of casserole type dish. Lasagna, enchiladas, anything that you can make in a single dish and toss in the oven. Plus if it is simple to whip up, dinner and clean up are a breeze.
• Grill. I personally love to grill. The food has a flavor that cannot be replaced. Plus less energy usage. So when I grill I throw my whole meats on the grill FROZEN, this keeps them nice and juicy and you never (ok hardly ever) have to worry about burning or overcooking where the food is so nasty dry. You can grill anything and everything...give it a whirl! Grill lots of extras too! This way you have extras for the week for dinners, lunch, whatever.
  
• Menus. I love a menu, this way everyone in the family can participate in what foods they want to eat during the week and makes meal time a breeze. Especially because if dinner is not served at FIVE O'CLOCK SHARP at my house.....demons invade. Seriously its like that moment where Spike from the Gremlins movie takes over the house. YIKES!
  
• The Crock Pot can be your friend. I really hate the crock pot because it is ugly and takes up precious storage space. However, I have created many a meals, very tasty ones at that, in my ugly plug her in machine.
• Forget the rules. Who says you have to have breakfast at breakfast and dinner for dinner. We call it "Brinner." Who doesn't love a belgian waffle smothered in fresh fruit, a side of (turkey) bacon, and maybe some scrambled egg whites for dinner or breakfast! Go nuts!
  
• Avoid pre-packaged dinner meals. Like the ones where the rice and everything is in it you just add your own meat. HELLO CALORIES!! HELLO CHEESE TO MY ASS! Yeah I made that same "dinner" with brown rice, fresh cheese, frozen broccoli, and chicken. About 400 less calories than the box dinner and everyone wanted and had seconds! Super easy to do as well.
• Salads. Yes the dreaded greens! But the greens can be fun I have a great taco salad dish that my kids eat because they are involved in the process. Plus if you tell them they can smother it with ranch...they are total game, oh and it has Doritos (I know shame on me).
  
• Colors, lots of colors. I tried to have a lot of color in my food. Part of my OCD I think, but I hate when my food looks tan.....all of it. I love vibrant colors and flavors I am a true food whore about that because I have such odd tastes in food.

I would love to hear what your tricks are when making meals, keeping the family happy, trying not to serve the same old "slop" night in and night out, and what helps you save time? I also have lots of yummy recipes for everything from breakfast to dessert that are super easy peasy and totally fool proof! Quite a few are posted on the blog my sister's and I share and I hope to post some here real soon. Happy Thursday everyone....and stay tuned! I have some great reviews and fun giveaways!!

Wordful Wednesday

The mail finally came. The day finally arrived. Wednesday is here!

This Wordful Wednesday is probably the most important to me because of the simple fact that Three Years, Nine Months and Two Days ago I began an important journey. Unlike any journey of self gratification and growth this journey was of fulfillment and total and complete accomplishment. This journey was about me, when I was me, before my kids became a part of me, this is the five year old me "What do you wanna be when you grow up?"

In 1996 (I am dating myself here.....bear with me) I was awarded the Regents Scholarship Award to the University of Arizona. Quite the prestigious award right? You bet. I was a smarty pants. I was so smart and so good at school I was awarded a scholarship for it! To my favorite state university too. I was AMPED!! So some months passed and I was readying myself for the BIG COLLEGE experience when I was hit with a ton of nonsense.

Dorms....FULL.
Student Housing....FULL.
Accepted and Ready to Go to College...CHECK.
Parents were as broke as Humpty Dumpty....CHECK.

Just shy of my 18th birthday I was destroyed. I spent hours on the phone trying to find a way into housing, find a way to get to college. Then I heard these words, "Probably a good thing....you would just party your way through school and destroy your scholarship anyway."

FANTASTIC!

So I was destined for nothingness right? WRONG

In September of 2005 one year after DH had finally finished his degree program (many years after high school and his "college" experience at UNM) I grow some large kiwis (thats for you Lizz because I wub joo) and I apply to college. And I am accepted. And I cannot believe it.

For the last three years I have sacrificed my time and self for this fancy piece of paper that tells me that I have mastered the fine art of BULLSHIT. (LOL) No really....it says so....BS.

Just kidding.

But really my degree is a BS. A Bachelors of Science in Business Finance. This is my second degree, my first is in just plain old business. However, the document before you is the real deal. I have been waiting ANXIOUSLY to get this is in the mail to show that I did it! And I partied too!
I also happened to maintain a 3.83 GPA thank you very much. In this time that I have gone back to school I did the following:

• Worked Full Time
• Raised a Family
• Had a Breakdown
• Recovered from a Breakdown
• Put Down my Bassett Hound (who was like my first born, I had her before I had kids and she was so young too...she is my next WW post!)
• Found I was Pregnant with TWINS!
• Went through Nine Months of Twin Pregnancy
• Delivered my Twins in the Middle of a Class, and finished with an A
  
• Raised Twins and a Larger Family
• Managed to maintain my normal home life, BLOGGED, (woot!!) worked, had kids, and still graduated!

On July 18th 2009 I will be celebrating my graduation by participating in the commencement ceremonies at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale and I am as giddy as a high school girl. The day my diploma arrived I was shaking and in tears. I just had to share that ANYONE can do it at any time! Go back to school, fulfill your dreams, don't let anything stand in your way!

Happy Wordful Wednesday Everybody! And as always make sure you stop by Angie's to give some linky love and share in your Wordful Wednesday!

Little Bitty Soap Giveaway!!

You can have a piece, well pieces, of the Little Bitty Soap company in your home!

My sister Brittany is hosting a giveaway of my special blend that I made for her and a lucky reader to enjoy in their home and bath!

So please head on over to Brittany Greer's casa and check out the Little Bitty Soap Giveaway!

My First, And Only, Retraction, or Edit

So many of you, as I did, thoroughly enjoyed the post about my letters I never intend to send. DH enjoyed it only half as much as we did.

I WAS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY WHEN HE READ IT!!!!

OK, in all seriousness the man giggled, and then asked for a retraction.

I told him HELL NO........but the words never left my lips. DAMN IT!

He Google messaged me......"Did you post the retraction yet? That I DID NOT clog the toilet?"

I ignored the Google message. Never happened. (LMAO)

"It was Big G's fault the toilet clogged....you know how he is?"

Again.....the retraction why? Like father like son?!

"You know he likes to use A LOT of TP and baby wipes to wipe his ass."

Yes my dear boy still uses baby wipes....he will also be the only child in the lunchroom at school using a warm, lemon scented towel to wipe his hands and face before and after eating.

Here I am on a Monday night, when I would rather be making my beer brew soap....which is OH SO DELICIOUS! You can use it as a shampoo bar too, so rocks, lots of lather, great conditioning.

OH RIGHT, sorry, so here I am posting my retraction about the "toilet and ass wiping abilities of DH." As I had promised him.....because I never break a promise....unless it has to do with our parents....then I don't promise anything....

Here is my official retraction to Mr. Fish:

My Dear Husband, I love you and at least 90% of the time your wiping abilities and flushing capabilities are adequate. However, at least 10% do require some tweaking. But I am willing to accept my wrong doing in that the dear boy Big G was the single, sole, and ONLY culprit for the toilet clogging incident that I, yes me ALONE, had to clean up. Please accept my public, very public apologies for the misrepresentation of your business with the latrine. Good day.

I can't wait to see his reaction to this post.
I haven't been able to stop laughing since I started typing!!
I love you dear.

To my Husband on Fathers Day

I knew in your heart that you wanted to be a father. Your armored exterior was merely a facade of protection from the world, not letting them know that you are a sensitive, loving man.


From the time we went to our friends back yard barbecue and we fell in love with that little girl who radiated to us. We were so fresh as a couple that kids were just a far off fantasy. She clung to me like I was her mom and she fooled with you as she would her own father. Her grandmother told us that her parents looked just like us and that her name was "Sara."

That day forward we knew what we would name our daughter......if we ever got to the point of marriage. For which we did.


We walked down the aisle on October 1st, 2000 (you barely making the ceremony thanks to my over anxious, highly intoxicated family starting the show without you). Our first born was a son in 2003, Grant Thomas. Grant for the simple fact he was a gift after our heartbreak and struggle, he shares the same initial as your Grandfather as a token of remembrance and Thomas after your father.

When we thought our family was completed YOU were the one who roped in my heart for another child, for Big G and for us. We got a two for one special and you were radiating while all I was doing was radiating heat and hormones during the incubation! We welcomed a day after Valentines Day in 2008, Seth Michael, Seth because you liked the name and very fitting of the appointed second son, Michael for both our uncles, and Sara, our princess, our sole girl, our finale, Noel after her mother as the first born daughter.
We were complete in every sense of the word.


I love the moments where you struggle to be the father your children deserve, the father you want to be, the father you feel you did not have in your own dad. I love the moments where you sit among them and they crawl on you like the solid oak tree in a summer field. I cherish the moments where you stop and just look at all we have accomplished, how special, beautiful and wonderful our children are because of our love and your foundation as a father. You are a wonderful Dad. You are patient, kind, stern, and a push over, you love without beginning or end, definition or purpose, bumps and bruises are mended with kisses and tickles, frights are cared for with hugs and snuggles, and each one of those little people saw you first upon their arrival into this world and for that I could not be more blessed.

I love you my husband, the father of my children, best friend, worst and best enemy, my debate partner, my comic, my lover, my soul mate, my eternal love.

Happy Father's Day.

Letters I never intend to send

I love writing letters. Especially ones with such raw emotion, with vigor....I love vigor, and you can vent all your angers, frustrations, hurts, and sadness without repercussion or worries. So today while battling with Pickles Magoo on his napping (or failure to take one) I thought I might take a moment to relax. Catch up on my friends' blogs and all they have going when I hear screams...two to be precise coming from down the hall. One is Pickles Magoo, with a faint choking sound, and the other is Big G again a faint sound of distress and I am unsure so I jump from my chair and book it to the intersection of three doors.

I felt like Bob Barker should have jumped out with flashing lights from the Price is Right to help be choose a door because I opened all of them. No new car...damn. Twins in their cribs, no one is choking, okay onto door number three. NOT door number three. Please oh please.....why did I have to open door number three.

While nothing Earth shattering....or at least not in my mind....had taken place, Big G was standing in a mess the was preemptively caused by his loving, and sometimes clueless father whom I love, adore, and wanted to strangle.

There I stood....in the bathroom with water, I will go with water so I feel okay, under my feet and three screaming kids. Armed with nothing I scrambled for the plunger. All the towels were in the wash....Cheese and rice who's bright idea was it to wash all the towels today!? Oh right, me. I plunge the toilet cursing Big G's fathers name over and over and handle that small fire. Run into the Squids room to handle their fire.......still reeling in my anger and frustration I sat down to write this letter to DH that I never intend to send:

My dear love,

I understand nature comes calling. We all, as beings upon this Earth, either animal, insect, and or bird will generate excrement of sorts that must be expelled from our bodies for proper operations. However, your asshole is no different than any other in this household. Each of us has an asshole, each of us will take a heinous shit from time to time. These do not mean that you qualify to use MORE toilet paper than usual to wipe an asshole that quite frankly is the size of a quarter. Your ass on the other hand may be large, but your starfish is much smaller. Please take heed next time you wipe your ass that if you require a double flush to hang around and flush that second or maybe a third time so as to avoid a high speed blow out for me to clean up. Otherwise I will suggest you take the "Proper Ass Wiping Class" with your five year old son in order to learn proper technique and adequate toilet paper consumption. Thanks again for playing, have a great day.

Your loving wife and Plunger Employer Extraordinaire,
Karie

I felt so much better to have gotten that out and we never had to fight about it. I just told him how we had a clog....preemptively caused by him, and all was right again.

I am never bored....

Not true....I am actually bored quite often.

My therapist Patricia "Pat" always tells me,
"Bored is healthy, bored is good."

Bored is good for the boring. Pft! No really, I like being bored, but I feel unaccomplished. I know, sounds crazy, which is why I pay $75 a hour for a great therapist! Anyway, I have found a new project! Actually I am planning on, OK seriously hoping, that my little project turns into a successful venture.

I have always had a love of all things homemade. I am a big fan! I mean I try to homemake a lot of our family meals among other things in our home. So one day, while sitting in my bathroom.. thinking...I had an idea. I will try to start my own little business.

I won't do catering.....too many issues and I don't have a big enough kitchen. Although I know I can do it...just a lot can go wrong. Will go wrong. and I do not want to clean that mess.

I won't do a franchise....not right now at least.
Too much initial investment and too little return on the initial investment.

I can do homemade bath and body. I love bath and body. I live for bath and body.

Seriously, in my bathroom I have at least 30 different designer perfumes....not counting all the samples I have received here and there. Soaps?! Yeah, I got soaps from the homemade French savons to the local farmers market cold processed. I love soaps. Maybe has to do with my OCD of cleanliness but I love feeling clean, smelling clean, or using the soaps for just a great fragrant accent in a drawer, bathroom, or just as a decorative accent in a bathroom.

So here has been my little project and of course the little linky on the right hand sidebar.....yeah the brown box...Little Bitty Soaps....that's me:

Cold Process "Sweet Pea Pie" Hot Process "Spa Massage"
(honey, oats, sweet almond oil)


Hot Process "Boyfriend" Bath Soak Salts & Teas
Lavender & lavender leaves

Hot Process "Honeymoon"
Lavender & Rosemary

Mrs. Fish's Thursday Tips and Tricks

One of my friends asked me the other day,

"Karie, is your house always this perfect? All the time? With Twins? And you were going to school? And you work out of the house? And, and and....."

I felt so embarrassed, I mean I really do try to let my house go. To let the dishes pile up, the laundry spill out into the adjoining rooms, for my house to collect dust like the desert floor. I mean I really do try to let the old girl go sometimes.

But with three kids, a husband and a dog who cannot distinguish her own identity you learn a few little tricks here and there that help you stay on top of all the messes and keep a clean house without spending days or endless hours slaving, only for your hard work to be flushed away.

Here are my tips and tricks to staying on top of my house:

• I don't spend one WHOLE day cleaning and doing laundry. I spread the love around. I do laundry everyday, a load at a time, this way, laundry gets done and I get caught up without spending an entire day devoted to dirty linens and such.
• I clean my house one room at a time, or one section of the house at a time, one day at a time. This way I just have to maintain. I vacuum everyday, only because I hate crumbs and such under my bare feet. Maintaining is a lot easier than power cleaning.
• I do dishes as they are dirtied. I run the dishwasher at night so in the morning I can unload it and start fresh, and I never have piles in my sink. (Well never say never.....DH has still to learn the location of the dishwasher to the sink.)
• Trash is handled by DH and Big G....sometimes me if they slack.
• Big G's chore is to feed the confused Bulldog.
• Little Bitty knows the location of the trash and recycling.....we are still working on the logistics.
• Pickles Magoo only knows where the food is.....the fridge. And that it can go on the floor for the confused Bulldog to clean up. This makes sweeping a breeze.

Hope this helps some of you Mom's who feel like your whole life revolves around cleaning the house. I try to look at it as "maintaining my perfection" (*cough...bullshit), OK, so I try. I have to say though that maintaining a clean house is easier than always trying to clean a dirty house. I hope to post some more of my Tips and Tricks.

Giving Credit where Credit is Due

I have had so many wonderful men and women come into my life since I began blogging. Either by a simple stumble, maybe a mistake, a referral, or some obligation but I have been so blessed. I think so many bloggers deserve recognition and credit that this post is for you! I am humbled by your comments, your feedback, your friendship, your support that you deserve to be recognized for being such a wonderful person, blogger, and friend.

Please go check these wonderful ladies (and gents) out. They brighten my day, have wonderful reads, and are near and dear to my heart!

• Beth
• Stesha
• Stacie
• Equidae
• Holly
• Modern Mom (Still have yet to learn her name...I am so BAD!! But she knows I love her!)
• Miss Behavin
• Lizz
• Karrie
• Lisa
• Melissa (I love her to death and she knows it!)
• Tess
• Valerie (She has a heart of gold!)
• Aubrey
• Helene
• Veronica (She is my alternate deviant twin)
• JAM Just call her Jam! LOL
• Alisha
• Jennifer
• BuckerooMama
• Sissy
• SITS Girls Tiffany and Heather (We all love them!)
• Stephanie
• Veronica Lee
• Angela
• Melissa of Sweet Serendipity
• Muthering Heights
• Jaime
• Meg Ryan's Mom (she is a crack up!)
  
• Sherry
• Sandy
• Kadi
• The Monkeys Mama
• Cynthia
• My sisters
  
• Shelly
• Becca
• Fiona
  
• Melodie

If I don't have you on the list take no offense...I most likely was pulled away by the Squids as I have heard random screaming ALL DAY and the time is almost 3pm AZ time which mean I have to get off my bloggy duff to run errands and start making dinner for tonight. Oh so glamorous life you know!? I love all the ladies (and men) that I read and wanted to share my love and create a post just for you!

All my bloggy love and friendship,
Mrs Fish
(Karie)

Oldest Child Syndrome

Being the oldest child of any family is a real pain in the neck. Really, it sucks a giant goats ear if you have to know. Speaking, clearly, from experience.

I, am the oldest of 5 children. Not all from the same mother. Hang in there....
I have 2 "blood" siblings from my mother, then 2 "half" siblings from their mother.
Our common denominator is.....our father (yeah he was a man whore).

Now being the oldest of THAT many siblings is trying at best. My youngest (half) sister completely looked up to me and thought I was and am the most beautiful person ever. Very sweet of her, granted she just turned 20 so I chalk her up to being naive and not as jaded as I am. My younger sister, the sister I called my baby sister, poor dear always felt the need to live up to me. She too thought I was some goddess of heaven, I think, when we were growing up. Only recently did she find that I am not, nor was I ever, perfect.
Perfectly flawed really, but far far far from perfect.

My mother. Ah, yes, my mother. I was the first. I was the guinea pig. I was the one child you learn from, make all your mistakes with, wish the world for, expect the most out of. Yes, I was the ultimate mold, the continuous masterpiece in progress.

I EFFING HATE BEING THE OLDEST!

I love my mother dearly, but when she gets around me and starts "mothering" me in front of other people like I am still that masterpiece to be molded, my pitchfork and horns begin to poke through my skin and I can feel the fiery wrath of hell behind me just waiting to be unleashed at my command. I understand and love that she is my mother, I would ask for NO OTHER, however, STOP with the crap. And let me explain the crap.....and of course I am the only child who gets it....because you see I am the unconventional, NEVER have listened to my mother, oldest child. Strong willed, my way or the high way, you are always wrong I am always right oldest child. The other children get her crap.....but not to the extent I get it, because I am the first and oldest child, forever and always, the oldest child.

Here is how the "crap" was laid today in my "perfect" kingdom.

My mother, God-mother (yes I really have one of those....my folks were old school), sister, nieces and nephew all came to visit and play in the pool today at my house. I love visitors, because they visit and then they leave. Not like guests...guests stay a while....I hate guests. Anyway, the women are sitting around the kitchen yakking like a bunch of hens would while the children played when we began discussing children. I hate this discussion.....always have....I was hounded by a MIL for years about bearing fruit for her and what does she do? Never visits. Gosh, off on another tangent...sheesh! See this is why I have a therapist.
OK.....where was I?
Oh yes, the discussion about children.

Mom is telling god-mom all about my sister, myself and our brother and how many children we each have, planned to have, going to have, are not going to have anymore. Yadda Yadda Yadda My mother, being the snipe she can be threw out into the conversation about my situation with more children, like I really need more children...with my history,

"Well in my mind you are not done having children yet since neither you or C are fixed yet!"

"That does not mean we are going to have more children mother, this just means that we have craptastic health insurance and the cost of "FIXING" the flowering fruit is out of our budget, so what is in our budget is condoms."

"No! You are not done yet. Until that deed is done, in my mind you are not done."

"Not going to argue with you about MY uterus and HIS penis."

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO KNOW?

Now my mom never means these comments as a joke, or a kid, or I'm just saying. No, she says this to drive me mad. Half the time I want to reach over and choke her. Does she NOT understand the brutality I went through with my pregnancies? With my journey to motherhood? Does she truly not get that I AM DONE?!

Sister on the other hand, she chimed in how she is fixed, which mom backed her 100% that she is done having kids. (No offense Britt....you know how Mom can be)

???????????????????? Are you serious????????????????????

See as the oldest child we are pushed to the very edge of being perfect, we have to meet these untold standards. What standards? Where is the damn book that says "You must be this tall to ride this ride." I find myself riding on Big G in that manner and I have made a conscious decision to stop, because I do NOT want the boy to end up like me. Resenting the comments his mother makes. I also do not want him to constantly be in pursuit of something that is unattainable and does not exist......PERFECTION. He is perfect in my eyes just the way he is, no better no worse. He is my creation and that makes him perfect.

I just do not understand why moms push the oldest children as hard as they do. I mean my life is challenging enough WITHOUT the childhood minutiae my mother can bring to the table.

So Mom, I love you, but do me a favor and keep your crappy comments to yourself. Even if you think you are just making cute jabs that are jokes or what have you....I really don't need anymore hell in my life. Bad enough hell is my neighbor, I'd like for it to remain so.

My future daughter-in-law, I am so sorry

My Dear Daughter-in-Law,

I write this letter in complete embarrassment. I am thankful you love my son for all of his fine qualities. The boy was always so lovable and very affectionate as a young child. So much so that I apologize for the way he may kiss you. His intentions are good but his teacher was terrible!

Have a DOG-GONE Great Day!

I know.......a real knee slapper!

I wasn't always a REAL mom

My journey for motherhood began seven years and three months ago. I had no intention of becoming a mother. NONE. My mother told me for MANY years that I would reap every hell I had sown to her. I would reap because of my own children that "One day, your kids will do the exact same thing you have done to me!!" And so I vowed to never have children. I vowed to never get married.

Eating all of those words will probably explain why I am on a diet!

I met my husband in the spring of 1997 in Albuquerque. Of all places, a bar. I know, such a bad cliche. He was married in the process of a divorce. I, was a hot young thing with no intention of settling, he was looking for fun and so was I. Needless to say we have been having fun together since then! We married in the fall of 2000.

Shortly before we were married we discussed children. I still did not really want children. I did not feel I was mother material. I was very set in my ways, a control freak by all means, perfectionist on every level, I was jaded, harsh, young, and could not be bothered. I worked long hours as a finance manager in the car business. That lifestyle was no place for children, my father was living proof, as was I since I was third generation "car guy." As we talked more and discussed our future life, goals, and dreams, I began to crumble under my inherent calling of womanhood and the "clock." So we agreed on children, well I did. I demanded no more than two, and of course if we could get it done in one shot with twins I would be more than satisfied.
Like I truly had any control over my conception of a child, you can tell I was a TRUE control freak back then. You can also tell I have had LOTS of therapy since then! HA

In June of 2000 I went off the pill. For a few reasons, one which was to lose the 15 pounds I had gained on the pill so that I could get into my perfect wedding dress. Right now I would kill to look like that again....but that in itself is another post. The other reason I went off the pill was to begin our unprotected sex journey to conception.

The journey took TWO LONG years before I even got pregnant.

One March Sunday I awoke and just had "that feeling", the one where you KNOW to take a pregnancy test, where you know your heart will jump out of your chest in complete disbelief? I called my boss and told him I would be late to work that day.....I was pregnant!! DH was already at work that morning, he worked the first shift at Home Depot. I being the sentimental little miss I was ran over to Wal-Mart, picked up an "I Love Daddy" bib and took that to him at work. I arrived and walked to the millwork desk where I found him loading doors into an overhead display. He seemed worried as to why I was stopping by to see him on my way to work. My eyes began to well and I handed him the bib. He pulled the bib out of the bag and looked at it in disbelief......just as I did with the stick I just peed on not 45 minutes earlier....and he asked what this meant. I asked him what did he think it meant? We went around and around for a minute and then I told him I was pregnant. We just stared at each other for a minute and then hugged like there was no end. Our movie moment was over and then we both had to get to work.

I was beaming! I beamed for about a week, maybe two. I hadn't even had a chance to have my first doctors appointment to confirm via ultrasound that I was pregnant. Complications set in.....fast!!

While at WORK, work of all places. Nothing but men, jaded, alcoholic, mean, self centered asshole men. I began to show signs of a miscarriage. I ran out of work, grateful my boss was a good, kind hearted man! I went to the ER with DH where they said that I was having a "threatened" miscarriage and that all appeared fine, but to take things easy. Another week passed, and again while at work, signs, signs that I had no idea about with cramping, spotting, I was a train wreck! I was sick, nauseous, not nauseous, not sick, I was a pregnantly confused young woman. My body was telling me yes and no to pregnancy. I waited until I was out of work and things seemed fine. I knew then it was stress from work. So I called in sick to take things easy on a Saturday. This was UNHEARD OF in the car business. I took the day easy watching TV, not worrying. Until that night and I knew we had to go to the ER. Something was terribly wrong. DH and I sat in the ER for over 10 hours. Grueling tests, pokes, prods, no drugs, ultrasounds, more tests, LOTS of waiting. My HCG was off the charts, so they said I was definitely pregnant, maybe a little farther along than I had calculated. But the bad news came at just before dawn. Just before dawn on Easter Sunday. We were miscarrying. We looked at each other in silence, in love. Our first loss as a couple. We had never experienced the grief and loss we experienced that day. I called my mother.....and I called into work for Monday. We were in mourning. To add injury to insult, we were also told I had LARGE ovarian cysts. WHAT?!!

And so we sat.....waiting for the inevitable. Waiting for the "miscarriage" to happen. I was writhing in pain for DAYS. Emotional and physical. I had returned to work on Tuesday only go go home. I was in the worst pain, somewhat spotty. I called my doctor only to get the run around THREE different times by the nurse who answered when I finally put my foot down and was my normal bitch self. I told her I was in pain. I told her I had NOT lost the baby yet, not enough substance. I TOLD HER I FELT LIKE MY LEGS WERE BURNING!!! I went to the doctors where they did an ultrasound. OH SHIT, is what the tech told us.

GREAT! WTF is that suppose to mean?

The doctor came in, told us to rush to the hospital for surgery I had an ectopic pregnancy and I was bleeding out. If I did not go into surgery that day I would surely bleed to death.

FANTASTIC!

After all was said and done I had found I was pregnant with twins. Fraternal quite obviously, one in the womb which was my "blighted ovum" as they called it and the second became entombed in my right fallopian tube which is nonexistent to this day. Thanks to a ruptured appendix four years prior that left scar tissue which choked off the path to the uterus. I researched from then on all about pregnancy after an ectopic......the results were dim at best. 37% success rate.

SUPERB!

I was looking forward to struggling to get pregnant once again. However, I endured great pain in order to conceive. You see I never did fertility. Crossed my mind, but never did. I knew I was fertile, but standing on my head and raising my pelvis were not assisting in the dates of DH's sperm and my ripe eggs. I had to be tested before I attempted to conceive again, the doctors had to test whether or not my left tube was open for business. There I lay...on a cold, sterile, flat bed with my "Frieda" exposed to some random lab guy who was inserting an instrument into my vagina and met my cervix. He explained how a "balloon" at the end of this tube would inflate to open my cervix and a dye would enter to check the tube. GREAT, sounds easy. Nope. I begged for more rectal exams before enduring that test again. But the results were life changing. We had an open tube that was ready for traffic. That was July of 2002.....by December, when we thought we would NEVER get pregnant, we conceived. I know the date. Christmas Eve. Such a beautiful night.

Yet in the time that we found the results and conceived we put our house in Albuquerque up for sale, started job hunting and decided Arizona was the place to move. My family lives here (there) and so we thought, that would be perfect. Still close to family.

In January of 2003 I scheduled a trip to Arizona to interview with car dealerships, at least three, and a few mortgage companies. I met with almost all of them but settled with the dealership since I would be making the most money. (Wrong! Thats a whole story in itself) I returned home and went to work the following day. My general manager and the owner of the dealership I was working for found I was job hunting, they knew I was going to give notice. They let me go with my vacation pay and the pay for the rest of the month! So I was well on my way to moving. I got home that day and knew....just knew in my gut to take a pregnancy test, I was only like a day late if that.

EUREKA!!

I called DH at work....told him the great news about being let go early. He was shocked. I told him about all the money being paid out. He was relieved. I told him I was pregnant!

***********CRICKETS***********

But we moved anyway and I had an ultrasound and this baby was a keeper. My Big G!
On September 14, 2003 at 2:22pm weighing in at 8 pounds 2 ounces and 19.25 inches long, DH and I welcomed Grant Thomas Herring to the world. Big G!

I couldn't believe I did it! I made it through 10 months, 8 hours of labor, 45 minutes of hard pushing, and I did it! I was a mom. But I never felt it. Something was there, but not there. I have pictures where you can see I adored the boy (and still do), just gazing at him. Yet, something felt missing. I went back to work at 7 weeks and he went to daycare. I was crushed. I cried a week straight dropping him off, but that slowly eased.

DH and I met troubled waters after having Big G. We went from living in a house to an apartment when we moved to Arizona, so cramming all your house furniture into a tiny apartment with two dogs was not ideal. Plus we began to grow apart. We finally bought a house though in February of 2004. We still live in the same house we bought, the house is home. DH and I started to come back to center with each other, things were mending, I was struggling personally. I felt something was wrong with me. And then we had another blow. In May of 2004 we found we were pregnant.........AGAIN! I was furious. I was just barely done being pregnant. DH was excited, I was pissed. He was crushed. After some time and just before our first appointment (since I am high risk I had to go in right away) I finally accepted and was happy to be pregnant. Then the doctor did an ultrasound. He took forever. I wanted to know what was going on. And then I heard the words.......................

You have TWO in there...........You see?!

Then I wanted to lose my mind. I couldn't believe it. But we had another quick jab. I was asked how far along I was.....because the yolks did not look big enough. So we rescheduled to come back in a few weeks to check. Those were the longest.weeks.ever! The following ultrasound was killing me. I lay in wait for weeks to tell people we were pregnant, I told some, I need positive affirmations. The power of positive did not yield. The twins were mono-amniotic (sharing the same sac, quite possibly identical twins) and they were not growing. No heartbeat. No babies. No healthy babies even if the pregnancy took and went to term. I was warned of Twin to Twin Transfusion, heart problems, a whole spectrum of medical mumbo jumbo that I immediately heard "wah wah, wah wah wah wah." We were devastated again. To add more injury I was sent home with a script to help ease along the miscarriage.

TWO THUMBS UP!

Within a few days of that appointment I was fired, over the phone, by my boss at the time. So that was great. I had lots to contend with. Luckily one of my old bosses (at a different employers) offered me to come back and I worked for them for a year and when I was pregnant with Big G, so I was happy to oblige. They were also very sympathetic of what I was having to endure.....as the process was not moving along. But then it did....and I never wish the experience upon any woman in my life. I awoke to labor pains at 16 weeks gestation. Awful. I could not wake DH. I would not. So for hours I suffered alone until the ordeal was done. I writhed, cried, hid, felt shameful, prayed for mercy. And then I suffered more as I began my awful bout with depression which lasted me some time and then the nasty medication that completely ruined me.

I had a breakdown in 2006. I nearly lost my mind. I almost had myself committed. I detoxed off of the worst anti-depressants known to man. I searched, I fought, I lost, I won, and then I was saved by a wonderful woman. She told me how to deal with myself. That feeling was OK. All that I had learned was wrong, and I have been every sort of medication (except the occasional motrin for headaches, etc) free since March of 2006.

In 2007, DH and I went to our friends wedding in Reno. We. Had. A. BLAST! Big G free weekend to enjoy ourselves. And we did. And we got loaded on many occassions. And DH told me he wanted another baby. And so after celebrating a wedding and in the nostalgia we worked towards another baby.

June 2007 came upon us fast. This was the year The Police were on their reunion tour. GET. OUT. OF. TOWN. We got tickets. On the floor. We rocked out to The Police that year. And that night, nostalgic from the concert, we conceived. June 18th 2007.

July rolls around and we were planning the 4th. Somehow DH and I got into an argument. I ran to the store to get smokes (I was smoking at the time) and a pregnancy test. I know, great combo! Like a salad and a double cheeseburger.

I get home from cooling off, take the test. DH and I are still battling. We were on the brink of the BIG D coming to our lips when I return to the bathroom. I was in tears. Still. From the fight. From the results. I stood there as we were half assed deciding our fate when I whipped out the pee stick. His jaw dropped. We laughed. We mended our stupid fight. We started going back to counseling.

The pregnancy seemed to be your regular run of the mill, feel like crap, look like crap, eat like crap. But I felt like something was going wrong again! I know right...a running theme. I go to the Urgent care thinking I had a UTI or a bladder infection. The ass hat doctor tells me I have back pain. WTF?! Dude....I have pain....not back pain....the pain is near my back.....but not my back. We go to the ER. I couldn't take it, granted the doctors appointment was in 2 days, but I had not eaten in those two days and could not keep anything down. I knew I was having a girl, but did not want to be so seriously ill. We went through tests again in the ER, but thankfully in a hospital that is knowledgeable unlike the ones in Albuquerque.

Tests, tests, lots of tests. Pain, pain, and lots of pain. I accepted their drugs. I needed their drugs, I felt like I was going to die. Now I can handle A LOT of pain. I went to 7 during my BACK LABOR with Big G before I crumbled for the epidural. The tests were run, and now I just wanted results and I wanted to go home. The doctor came in with the nurse, the time was just after midnight, approaching 1 am.

"Well folks, everything looks totally normal. So you have nothing to worry about."
Me and DH "Whew so everything is A-Ok, the pregnancy is alright, I am alright?"
"Yeah nothing wrong with you.........you just have two babies in there so that will cause a bit more discomfort."

***********CRICKETS***********

"Um two babies?" I asked in disbelief....brinking on the edge of tears. DH, "TWO BABIES!? OMG babe did you hear that?"
"Are you sure?" I asked again.
"Oh, you didn't know?" the doctor said. We both shook our heads unable to speak a word.
"Yeah you are looking good, we saw two heartbeats in there, so can't ever say you didn't get good news in the ER."

And we left still dragging our jaws on the ground. Slid into the car and screamed. Then we called everyone. We woke them up. We told them our shocking good news.

On February 15th 2008, at 36 weeks and 4 days by Casearean section I delivered Seth Michael at 4:53pm weighing 8 pounds 2 ounces 19.75 inches long and at 4:54pm I delivered Sara Noel weighing 6 pounds even and 19.25 inches long.

From them on my job as a mom has changed. I have been able to see and enjoy all the firsts. I was robbed with Big G because I had to go back to work. I was robbed based on my own selfishness of failing to accept I was a mom, I wanted my DINK lifestyle. I robbed my oldest of a healthy, well adjust mom the first few years of his life. But I feel like I am making that up to him. I am a 30 somethings mom now who has no desire to keep up with fashion....I mean I am lucky if I match at all some days. I have two more children that I am learning from everyday, watching grow like I should have with Big G. I should have just stopped to watch, what was my hurry?

I am better with compassion to my children, I am patient, kind, and I am always listening. I listen to the sound of the giggles. I listen to the cries, I know which ones are pain, hurt, hunger, tired, thirsty, or the ones that mean I just need a hug. I didn't always know these things. I wasn't sure I wanted to, but felt obligated to do so. Now, I love it. I look back at how BORING my life was before kids. My house was always clean, I mean I vacuumed dog hair...big woop. Meals were boring, we sat and watched TV never speaking. Now, dinner is like a three ring circus with Big G and the twins, never a dull or lifeless dinner. I no longer go days or weeks without a hug from someone, as I get hugs all day everyday. I used to spend money on excess fashion, where now that is spent on school clothes, school shoes, and play clothes for my kids, now I spend on their fashion. I used to never worry about what time I went to bed, and now, I am lucky to stay up past 11pm.

Some women claim they were "born to be a mom," I think we are all born to be a mom based on gender makeup. But moms are made. My kids made me the mom I am today. I love them more than words can say and I never regret, wish, or ask for anything different with them or in for myself in my life. Each and everyday I try to stop a little longer to cherish, love, and memorize them just as they are in that moment, on that day, because they grow so fast.

Giveaways GALORE

So many giveaways on the blogosphere that I wanted to take a moment this Saturday to promote them. Not only are they fabulous, but some are just splendid for the kiddies too!

Imagine all of your favorite girlie items in one giveaway!?

You can't?!!!!!

Well go check out Fantabulously Frugal with a giveaway of some great Etsy products, some Marc Jacobs, some Smashbox Lip gloss, all things trendy, and what every woman would want in her handbag! Check out the giveaway, ends soon!

Now want something for your little princess? How about some super safe, super sweet girlie nail polish for your little darling?

My dear friend and sister at The Greer Five is having a Piggy Paint giveaway! So be sure to go check her out. Not to mention she is giving away a gift certificate to ECOStore USA, some great books for you and the kids, she has got it all!! Be sure to check her out, her giveaways end soon too!

Mini Me's

When Big G was born I was so joyful that I had a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby boy. I love Big G like no words can explain. But in all honesty, my vanity started to get the best of me when all I heard was "Oh my gosh!! He looks IDENTICAL to his father."

And so I thought I was doomed to have all of my children look exactly like their father.

I know, I am pretty vain. But seriously, when someone tells you how your children look like you, their mother, the comment just hits you and is heart warming. Especially because we are the ones who endured TEN, yes 10, MONTHS of agony, bliss, exhaustion, constipation, sleeplessness, irritability, bloating, weight gain, excitement, love, affection, bitching, moaning and the sheer fact we were uncomfortable right before we delivered our precious little person.

You can imagine how ELATED I was when the twins were born. I immediately bust out the baby pictures and did my "Nah nah, eat shit" dance to show how the twins look just like me! I know.....I am a terrible sport. But seriously....for FIVE years, all I heard is how people couldn't believe Big G was mine because he looks JUST LIKE HIS DAD. FIVE YEARS!!
The only thing that stands out on Big G that he gets from me are the radiant color of his eyes (we have piercing blue eyes) and this really cool birth mark, oh and we can argue till the cows come home...both of us....with each other....and other people if they let us. Big G and I are born to argue! LOL


So here are some fantastic 70s sporting photos of me.....and my comparable Mini-Me.

Mini Me (Pickles Magoo)

Me (circa 1978, 1979 ish)

Me (circa 1979 ish)

Mini Me (Little Bitty)

Me (circa 1979 ish, I was about their age in this picture)

I am just so glad that my genetics finally came through on the looks of our kids. Do not get me wrong.....DH is one sexy beast, but if our daughter looked like him......she might as well pack everything in now and go butch, or lipstick for that matter. I'd love her just the same.....seriously....she is very pretty and totally cute.

I am most thankful that I was able to go 36 weeks, 4 days, 16 hours and 53 minutes before delivering Pickles Magoo and 54 minutes before delivering Little Bitty.
Both were PLENTY healthy and good sized twins, so I know my baking abilities are more than plentiful that is for sure!
As an added bonus they got my striking good looks, goofy loving nature, and they are the best of DH and I all the way around with smarts, love, good nature, bad tempers, and sensitivity.
I am so blessed with my three gnomes!

The Good, The Bad, and the Unclear?!

Moms, grandmoms, Great-grandmoms, just about any mom you can think of asks this question when they see a young child and or baby:

Is he/she good?

I mean seriously? What kind of question is that?
When anyone asks me that I truly think about messing with them a little and telling them how awful my child is because he has a small (I mean child size)penis aiming into a LARGE porcelain bowl and he can never hit it....always the outer edges making cleaning a real bitch....how my youngest boy Pickles Magoo is the biggest whiner and Mama's boy ever....and Little Bitty.....yeah, she is no princess....she is the second biggest whiner in the house and to top things off she beats up her twin....I mean who does that to their twin?

But all of that does not make my children good or bad. My kids are awesome. Do they have moments of bad behavior? Sure. Moments where they forget to use manners, hit, or worse.....forget to brush their teeth. (LOL)

Kids and people are never bad. Bad is a terrible word, the use gives a connotation and an association that suggests that this is a quality or trait of an individual. That by telling your child when they have done something wrong "bad boy" or "bad girl" they lose self-esteem and or self worth. They then feel that they are less because of their actions and choice resulting in actions and consequences.
(I hope I didn't lose you)

For example, Big G had a problem with hitting when he was a toddler in daycare. I attributed this to the fact he was the largest, the largest eater, and he learned this from other children. I learned to tell him, "No, we do not hit. Hitting is bad" as the proper way to tell my child what he had done wrong at a young age. If I told him "NO! Bad boy" he probably would have been lost as to what the hell I was talking about. Here is the thing, if you are questioning whether or not your child understands.....DO NOT underestimate them. Seriously, for little people they are super smart and they can comprehend a lot more than what we give credit.

No one, in my opinion, is bad. I think even the killers and criminals of the world are not bad people, they have just made bad decisions and they behave badly because no one showed them otherwise or they were not given the right environment or love needed. But I believe they are inherently good people. Maybe because I carry a Rogerian theory of people, but I think that we learn how to behave properly or in a way that is acceptable, ethical, and at best morally sound.

Maybe my years of therapy and self help books (thank you Melody Beattie) have helped me to become a better person and a better mother in the way I discipline and teach my children. Some people are truly unclear on the thought that actions do not make a person, they do not define the very essence of their being, so by telling them they are bad or good because of the good and or bad things they have done sends mixed signals. When I discipline Big G I am always sure to tell him these sentences and they seem to be a HUGE difference in his demeanor:

"Big G, what you did is unacceptable. We do not (*insert bad action) hit our little brother. If you are mad or you want to hit something, go get the stuffed Spongebob and wail on him. Now I need you to take a time out. I love you very much, you are a very good boy, but hitting our little brother is bad, you hurt him."

And with that, he is upset because I made him take a time out and he understands WHY he is taking a time out and why I am mad. I am mad because he hit his sibling and he knows that I love him, that he is still a good boy, and that we take out our anger on things like a punching bag like Spongebob because that always makes us feel better when we need a release of bad energy.

Some may not agree, which is Okay by me, I am not looking for approval. I just know that no matter what, my kids are GOOD kids ALL the time, not just because they picked up their rooms or helped me set the table for dinner. I tell them all the time what great kids they are for no reason and in return I have happy kids who learn actual right from wrong and good from bad.

Wordful Wednesday

What do you do when your favorite friend comes to town?

Go out on the town?
Order in Chinese and drink wine?
Go to dinner and enjoy a few cocktails?

Me?

Well I despise my favorite friend.

She brings me hell. She makes my face break out like I am a teen all over again. She makes me moody beyond belief, I mean I cry at the worst things or I just want to tear your head off and eat you for a snack! But my most beloved part about when my favorite friend comes to town:

I LOVE EVERYTHING DEEP FAT FRIED AND SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE!!
I mean I might as well invite Paula Deen to come over and cater for me the whole week while I pig out on ice cream, my dark chocolates (which have antioxidant properties), Taco Bell, I mean you name every single nasty food known to man.....and I eat it when I am being visited by Aunt Flo. You would have thought my mother-in-law invaded by the way I emotionally and hormonally eat!!


HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY EVERYONE!!!
As always please visit Angie and sign Mr. Linky.

WINNER!! Go Go Pets Giveaway

I know you have all been dying to know the winner.....and I.....being the fabulous slacking Mama I am......finally got around to managing the comments for entry into the giveaway. I moderated all the legitimate comments. Verifying all the entries and weeding out those who did not follow and play by the rules. Rules are rules! (*shakes finger)

I do want to thank every single one of you for entering and being such good sports! Go Go Pets is the newest toy and I am happy that Phoenix, AZ was chosen as the market for product roll out and introduction. Also a big thanks to Mom Select and Cepia Toys for the great giveaway!

So..................(*drum roll) without further adieu....................the WINNER of a brand new mechanical hamster, and Garage habitrail with car:

Based on my tracking of everyone who followed the rules and had a great time entering and following this giveaway, the winner is Jennifer Garrido of JenButterfly12!!

Jen I will be contacting you via email to gather your information for shipping.
Congratulations!!!

Congratulations to everyone who entered, everyone is a winner in my book! Please do stick around as the Fish Family will be hosting more great giveaways. Plus, if you noticed, I am partnered up with my sisters (yup....a whole bloggy family of us!) and we will be hosting a giveaway in the next week! Some fabulous beauty products, Etsy, and much more! My sister Brittany currently has a few giveaways going on so please be sure to check her out...plus click on my list of blogs I follow as lots of my bloggy buddies have some great reads and a few giveaways in between! Thanks again everyone!!

Bound to Please, Book Review

Books I think are the most wonderful creation to man kind. Books and stories to me are like a mini fantasy and or they tell a spectacular story of rich history. I love books because I choose the face of the characters, not some Hollywood director that will gross the crap out of me on admission for two hours plus popcorn. I get to choose what the scenery and backdrop would look like including the weather. I get to choose based on my knowledge and imagination.

I recently received a book from Hatchette Book Group and the book is a romance novel. Now last contemporary romance type drama book I read was a Candance Bushnell book.....Four Blondes and before that.....I can not recall because of school.

For the last three years, eight months, and some odd days I have been a text book addict in need of some rehab. Hatchette Book Group was my detox!! I love them for sending me this book because the romance novel I chose to read was just awesome.

Most romance novels have that stigma. You know...the one where Fabio graces the cover and just wreaks of soft porn gone bad. I mean worse than daytime soap opera love scenes with the bad 80's music and the diffused lighting.....you know what I mean?

This romance novel had me from the get-go! I honestly, could NOT put the book down. I mean I had put the book down only because of the hubs and the Gnomes, but I seriously did not want to put it down. I was hooked! The book is truly HOT!! Lilli Feisty does a SUPERB job of finding that adjective to burn into your soul the meaning and feelings behind the scene in the chapters. She reaches into your inner being, the place every woman has been, but the thought and idea is taboo.

I have to say that Bound to Please was a real pleasure for me to read.

Here is an excerpt from the book:

Ruby Scott is a beautiful, quiet event planner who leads an oh-so-respectable life. Yet the things that go on in her secret fantasies are anything but. She has every intention of keeping her hidden desires under wraps-until she meets a gorgeous, hard-muscled man ten years her junior. Mark St. Crow is a gifted, up-and-coming musician who collects erotic art and loves to "play" women as much as his piano. After one night of uninhibited passion, Ruby realizes there's no turning back. But as she surrenders to her deepest needs and lets Mark control every forbidden thrill, her passion for him builds. Can the wild, intoxicating nights they share lead to a love that will last forever?

Erotic, hot, sexy, devious, bold, flirtatious, steamy and fun.
I would say definitely a favorite romance novel for my night stand.
Seriously this book is not and I mean NOT your typical romance novel, but a whole lot of fun to read and makes you want more once you are done.


*Disclaimer: For all The Five Fish transparency and disclosure policies, 
be sure to click the link Looking in the Fish Bowl.