Perfection Is as Perfection Does

I was asked once, "Karie, is your house, life, everything always this perfect?"

I pondered for less than a millisecond, and the answer I blurted out, "No."

LIES!

I took a step back recently, I pretended I was an outsider to my own home, looking in as if a stranger or newcomer into my home and life. What I saw was pretty amusing...at least for me...quite amusing because I truly carry the ultimate facade of She Can Do No Wrong.

The Facts:

1. I Shower DAILY....sometimes twice DAILY because any stench of ick makes me want to puke.
   
2. I do truly smell and shit roses because you could never tell anyone had dropped a load of feces in the porcelain god because my toilet is truly white and pristine. ALWAYS.
3. I always have candles a flame....a lovely ambiance and the smell is relaxing.
   
4. I rarely leave the house without makeup, if I do, I had better look fabulous.
5. My hair is always done, whether I re-brush and use a straight iron to eliminate the JBF I still have fabulous hair.
6. Even my "grungy" clothes, the ones I consider to be a t-shirt and jeans....FABULOUS. A slim fitting Calvin Klein tee and bella Dahl jeans.
7. My bathroom NEVER, EVER looks like a truck stop restroom, nor does it look like Chewbaca visited. I cringe when I see other "normal" bathrooms like that. Seriously, I don't even have toothpaste spatters.
8. My kitchen is as sterile as an operating room. Every inch is cleaned RELIGIOUSLY, even while cooking my counters are free of debris, spatters, dishes, etc. In fact, all of my cookware is washed immediately AFTER use to avoid the nastiness that will sit overnight.
9. Seriously I think anyone who celebrates Passover would be happy to know my home is ALWAYS free of crumbs, dog hair, dust, like I said, RELIGIOUS about my cleanliness.
10. My yard....pretty pristine. Now the party in the back is not so much with the doggie land mines and all. I am not a fan of picking up hot steamers....so thankful for the warm Arizona sun to dry them out for easy scooping.
11. The bed....made daily. You would think I had a housekeeping service because my sheets are taut, wrinkle free, and the bed is always made....even with useless decorative pillows and shams. That's how I roll.
12. The playroom. The one room in the house that should always be a disaster, riddled with toys abound....fail whale...they are all put away. Even the stuffed animals are arranged.
13. My bookshelf...as I said....color coded and arranged by genre; so my bookshelf looks like a cascading rainbow of literary spines from self-help to my corporate finance text's to science fiction and fantasy. My bookshelves are truly a masterpiece.
14. The art work. Oh me or my....my artwork is even arranged in such a manner. Almost alphabetical the way they run through my home. From Kadinsky to Picaso to Van Gogh, plus some private label art. I am a lover of the fine arts and their placement in my home.
15. My towels are neatly and evenly hung in the bathroom along with hand towels, tip towels, and a beautiful bar of hand soap. My wash cloths are also neatly placed in my shower caddy tower arranged in a rainbow for easy access to a new washcloth for using.
    

Truly I think you get the picture of my "perfection" which is sad. I truly try to let my house go, I try HARD, really HARD to not work so hard at keeping a good house. I truly try hard to not let my compulsion take over. Some call it a disorder, but really...I find a lot of order to my "disorder," albeit a method to my madness. Take a good look:

Okay...I lied a little...I left Little Bitty's shoes on the island and my water bottle as I took these photos.