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Watch what you wish for......

The Five Fish: Watch what you wish for......

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Watch what you wish for......

In my early 20s after C and I got married, I so wished to get pregnant. He and I wanted a baby badly to get our family moving. We already had owned a home for a few years, we were both making a very good living and we were both responsible. I would wish for a baby, even two! Yes, I would wish upon falling stars, pennies in the water fountain, even candles on my cake for a baby and even TWO! I thought so often, I hope and wish I have twins so I can just be done and over with having kids.

Oh I have eaten those words.

The spring of 2002 yielded what I wished for.....A baby!!! I was finally pregnant! I found out on a Sunday morning before work. I called my boss to let him know I would be late and I ran to the store to buy a baby bib that says "I love Daddy" to surprise C at work. I ran to his work and surprised him with a which he asked...."Are you serious?" He was excited as I was! We made the first appointment and we thought we were on our way to parenthood. But something went terribly wrong. Later in the week I began having cramps and then a bit of spotting. I went to the ER since the time was over the weekend and no way of getting in to see my Dr. Went to the ER where they told us everything is fine after LOTS of crappy tests. Okay then, just a bit of a scare. So then some more time passed and something still did not seem right and again a bit of cramping and now a little heavier spotting.....again something is not right! Another late night trip to the ER with lots of cramping now. I had no idea what was going on...I was dumb and had no family to speak of. Tests in the ER revealed I was miscarrying and that I had ovarian cysts!
I was crushed. That ER trip was the night before Easter Sunday. I called into work Sunday and that Monday. I couldn't take the fact I was losing my baby and I had cysts. I was told I would miscarry soon, then go about my life. What? Go about my life? Are you serious?

I began to have more pain that Monday and then burning. My legs felt as if they were on fire, just an internal fire and burning I had never felt in my life. I turned into Robo-Bitch after the nurse on the phone at my Dr's office dismissed me as if I were some dumb girl. I was two shakes away from telling her to suck something and then dropping an "F" bomb that she scheduled me to see my doc ASAP. C and I went in and had an ultrasound only for the U/S tech to say, "Oh S&it, I will be right back....hold this" as I was directed to hold the magic wand protruding from my vagina....LOVELY! I was greeted by the doctor to tell me I had to be rushed to the hospital for surgery as I was bleeding out. Bleeding out from where? Well that ovarian cyst....was a baby! Yup, i had an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy and a pregnancy in my uterus that I was also losing. So surgery happened, lot two babies and a fallopian tube.

Later that year we had a test to see if we could even get pregnant again. My ruptured appendix in 1998 wreaked havoc on my insides leaving massive amounts of scar tissue that had to be removed by laser during the aforementioned surgery. The test was painful and horrible but the results were heavenly! My left fallopian tube was open and ready for breeding! Later that year, Christmas Eve to be exact, we got pregnant! We were pregnant that I had to take EIGHT tests to be sure and made an appointment for the following week to make sure everything was A-ok which was! In September 2003, we had G-man!

But as luck and fate allows, I got pregnant again in May 2004. So was not looking forward to being pregnant again. C was ecstatic....I was furious. This pregnancy took some time to be happy about because we were not in the right place together. But I finally reached the happy point about the pregnancy to find out.....TWINS! Oh yes, twins again! I WAS LOSING MY MIND!! The doc said that they are probably mono zygotic (same placental sac), but would monitor how things would go. see him again in a month. The month came and so did the visit. the visit was not a good one....the twins were not growing and no heart beat. What did this mean? No babies again. I would lose this pregnancy that I had just become to love and be excited for. This one was not a happy ending by any means either as the whole ordeal resulted in full on labor at home....alone....big mess......awful experience! I wish that upon NO woman. I was done! I warded off pregnancy and having children even again! One was good enough.....

Oh how I ate those words too.......damn it!

January 2007 brought us to Reno to watch our beloved friends wed, again (ha, long story), in holy matrimony. The nostalgia warmed us to want to get prego again. I asked C, since he was the one who said he wanted another baby, if that is what we really want.....and the sex ensued! June 2007 at the Police reunion concert, conception of The Squids. We found we were having twins with another weekend visit to the ER because I was violently ill, back pains, awful and I was scared of what happened before. I found out not from an U/S or anything but the Doctor so nonchalantly telling us, "Well I don't see anything wrong, you just have two babies, so everything is a little exaggerated". A LITTLE EXAGGERATED!!!??? Back up to the two babies......C was beside himself and totally excited where I burst into tears. NO!! No freaking way were we going to have twins. We did.....February 2008 by Cesarean...the Squids.

Next wish for something and it does not come true right away....even with all the faith you have.....just wait. Your wish will come true.

Here are a few facts about spontaneous (natural, not scientific) twins:

3% chance of twins age 25-29
4% chance of twins age 30-35 (I fit in here)
5% chance of twins age 35-39

Maternal history increases the chance (My history was paternal, so go figure!)
How many times you have been pregnant increases the chances
Pregnant with twins before increases the chances
So I had fraternal twins my odds were 1 in 60!!! Double that because I have only one tube and voila! Plus remember.....though I am "lucky" to have luck too a lot of heartache and pain along the way. So the grass is not always greener and your their reality.