I am Quitting my Job

This morning when Pickles Magoo, who I think we are going to call Seth-en-Stein from now on because he is FINALLY starting to walk, a little, walks like Frankenstein. Plus he is so big and bulky like Franken, so what the heck, sounds good. Seth-en-stein (with 80's zombies voice)

So Seth-en-Stein decides that 5 a.m. is the most fabulous time to start talking in my bed. I know dumb that he was even in my bed, but he was there because at 1 a.m. when you are praying for sleep because the big baby won't go to sleep, you let him snuggle with you. Which by the way I rarely do, I highly dislike other people in my bed. Anyway, Seth-en-Stein begins talking, singing, crawling all over DH and I. Ok, I can semi-ignore this and get a few more Z's. WRONG!

The little monster, I mean my little sweet boy, decides to start smacking DH and I because he thinks the sounds of slapping skin in hilarious! WRONG AGAIN! I try to go back to sleep yet again and put Seth-en-Stein on the floor to go play.

I have been SOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG today. He goes in and wakes up Big G and the Little Bitty. FANTASTIC!! Now everyone is awake and the time is barely reading 6 a.m. FABULOUS!

Big G decides to crawl in bed with DH and I, and then DH grabs Seth-en-Stein to throw him back in bed with us. WTF?! I mean seriously, are you kidding me? Now I am dealing with a ton of penises praying for intelligent life to show somewhere when I finally kick everyone out of bed!

I huff and storm out of the room, make coffee as LOUD as I can, even running the garbage disposal out of sheer spite and frustration, to no avail. DH is still in there, SNORING.

Oh and did I mention that my washer went out of commission last night....yeah! With a full load of water and laundry in it. I hope it is an easy fix, because seriously, I can't take it anymore!

At that point I decided to officially quit my job...........only I am not sure which one to quit!!!???

• Maid
• Nanny
• Chef
• Cook
• Baker
• Coffee Maker
• Gardener (oh crap....I need to go turn off the water! BRB)

• Landscaper
• Pool Guy
• Launderer
• Dish Washer
• Dog Groomer
• Dog Walker
• Garbage Man
• Recycle Extraordinaire
• Soap Maker
• Teacher
• Chauffeur
  
• Personal Shopper
• Sex Kitten
• Loan Officer
• Wife
• Mom

So seriously those are the only jobs that I can think of off hand with only a single cup of coffee and I am not sure which one to quit. Maybe after another cup of coffee I will quit one and ask for a raise, or maybe vacation time.