Plays Well With Others: Kindergarten Lessons

Recently I have been the proud parent of a semi-defiant, attitude riddled, six year old boy who properly dropped the "F" bomb at school in proper context. His outed behavior, society, and a certain community are something of a lesson to be learned.

Lately I have seen buzz, tweets, blogs, posts, blah blah blah about drama drama drama. Here is my fishy take on drama based on the sayings from a wise man, "You are who you associate yourself with."

Roger. Are you scratching your head? Let me say this, if you hang out with people who generate drama, incivility, rudeness, egoism, then you will attract the aforementioned. Maybe you are saying, but I still generate drama and I am "not even doing anything." Again, possibly guilty by association.

My son, he was guilty by association. He associated himself with a behavioral heathen. The boy he was hanging out with had ZERO disciplinarian action at home, clearly. I am sure he is a good boy, but he lacks structure and he happened to rub off on my son who in turn morphed into a behavioral heathen for a few days.

I have seen grown adults act in this manner. Everyday. At work. The store. On the road. At my son's school at the parent pick-up line, and lastly the internet. People acting like a bunch of ninnies! Why? Attention. Chaos. The flat out fact they cannot handle being bored maybe, I am sure they have their unknown reasons.

Additionally, I have seen grown adults name call like a bunch of kindergarteners. I mean seriously!? Nonetheless surprising though when a U.S. Senator goes to such great lengths to call the President of the United States a LIAR! I mean really, great, your opinion, not a fact, and truly what was accomplished by such an action. Nothing. The jackass senator had to issue an apology, he had to grovel, for acting like a putz.

Which segues into why do people call names? Why belittle? And then why claim to support empowerment, community, comraderie, only to turn around when the first person is negative and call them a name? Have you seen the name calling? Troll. Bitch. Idiot. Fraud. Liar. Carpet Bagger (which is my fave....I don't think a lot of name calling ninnies understand the true meaning of this, brush up on US History would you). I am truly perplexed at the back stabbing capabilities and name calling of people. Actions such as these do not even render a school aged genre, but more of what is your point? What are you accomplishing?

My take....which take it or leave it, my feelings cannot be hurt.....my take on the situation of name callers, two faces, and hypocrites is that they do not know how to deal with people who:

1. Have a difference of opinion. Without different opinions life would be dull. Colorless. Bland. My personal intellectual level would drop if I did not have people around me with various outlooks, opinions. Opinions and beliefs are the spice of life, what makes life interesting, note worthy, promotes enlightenment to those who wish to embrace enlightenment with an open mind.
2. Harvest personal feelings of insecurity. People call names because all of the sudden they feel threatened. Hurt. Scared. They might feel less than, so rather than embracing, again, differences in other people, they call names almost like a  "fight or flight" mechanism. They belittle to the point where they themselves are reduced to an ethereal wisp of a soul and then they feel worse.
   
3. Exude a greater amount of personal success on various levels. Name calling and attacks happen too out of jealousy. I personally, I do not envy nor do I get jealous over tiddly things. If I see something that is better, nicer, etc I work harder, smarter, I create a balance. I assess do I really want that and what that better something brings? What are the consequences if any? By embracing that someone has something better, commend them, ask them, "Hey that is awesome, how did you start to end where you are?" People with REAL success do not have to tote it around like a monkey on their back, they do not have to go to great lengths to say "Hey! Look at me! I am a success!" You know the ones, the douche-bag  type that goes and buys a Bentley when he says he cannot afford to pay the employees in his company. Even though they act like a douche, you don't tell them, no reason, you get nowhere that way.

I think a lot of people were taught the correct thing to do in the face of adversity. He or she was taught to embrace, kill people with kindness and get other people talking. If someone comes and bags on what you say, my response would be:

"I appreciate your feedback, but I do not appreciate your insults. What is your take on the matter, I would really like to hear other's opinions?"

This comment will generate a conversation and not an insult fest. If you reply like this:

"Ok Troll. Go FUCK yourself." (Now I am going to go Google Earth your house based on your IP and post for everyone to see how stinking cool I am"

Really...not cool. Besides if someone comes back with their reply, listen, if you don't agree. Say I really appreciate your feedback. People like to be validated. We all do. If our feelings and opinions are not validated then we also go on the attack. Children do it, adults do it. People have feelings and opinions and they should always be respected whether you agree or not. The spice of life, differences, beliefs, color, how boring life would be if those elements were missing.

So next time you run into a sticky situation of playing well with others consider what was said before, is there really any point to belittling and name calling? Be the bigger man, grow a pair and be kind (rewind...ha sorry!) and check out these great ideas from Robert Fulghum, who wrote the book "All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten."