Growing Up is Hard to Do

After posting my New Year's montage the comments from you, my readers, triggered a whirlwind of thoughts. One comment specifically from my friend over @ A Nut In a Nutshell mentioned how I appeared to be a bit of a party girl.

I used to be.

I used to party every night I could from the time I had my own car in high school until....well I grew up. Until sometime in my 20s I found that partying and going to the bars and dealing with all that minutiae was just that. CRAP. A load of bullshit and really, what was the point? What point was there to hitting the bar and drinking until buzzed or partially intoxicated? Fun?! What was so fun about making an ass of oneself? What was so fun about chugging water and taking B12 the following day, possibly even a Bloody Mary for a taste of the hair of the dog that bit you.

But I got over it. I got over the need to sow any wild oats, I got tired of the wasteful spending on alcohol, the running amok and doing what I wanted got old. Real. Fast. Why? Because from 18-25 I got to be me. I had the opportunity to evaluate crucial moments in my life, I lived, I effed up, A LOT, I learned, I was me, for me, and only me. What people don't realize is how much really truly happens in the pivotal age range of 18-25:

• Graduate High school and move out
• Go to College, live on your own, maybe with roommates
• Work first REAL job, maybe while attending college
• Meet life long friends, or continue friendships forged previous to high school
• Graduate college
• Obtain first REAL job with college credentials
  
• Gain life experience
• Possibly buy first car, open first credit card, maybe buy a house 
  
• Do the walk of shame (maybe more than once)
• Get arrested
• Avoid getting arrested
• Get married
• Figure out what you are going to do with your life (generally at age 20 this comes to mind)
• Figure out what you are going to be when you grow up
• Meet a future spouse, or get engaged
  

As you can see a general and brief smorgasbord of events happen from the time you age from 18-25. However, some people never experience these events and the reason why is their life choices which makes their growing up experience much more different. Because their experiences will vary so greatly, their experiences during the pivotal age range will shape their adulthood beyond age 25. Even one (possibly two) bad decisions will transform your life.

The Chad was a wise young man when he shared these facts with me. He was maybe, at best, cresting 25 himself when he shared the fact of growing up to me when I was barely cresting 20. By the time I was 20 I had done almost everything stated above....except get married, figure out what I want to be when I grow up, have kids, I mean I was still a kid myself.

During the time of 18-25 you figure yourself out as a person. A singular person. No longer are you a child in your parents home. No longer are you a student in an "elementary" school, requiring your attendance. You are an adult. A singular being deciphering the game of life, day by day, moment by moment. Curfew is something for kids who "live at home" or at best "Minors" for the sake of calling a legal adult an adult. More time is spent with your friends in a non-parental defying manner. Responsibility is learned, respect, self-respect, boundaries, self-awareness, quite literally you become a person you never thought you knew you could be, were or are. All the while the only responsibility you had...was to yourself. No one else, not to your parents, just yourself, and self-discipline was actualized.

But some do not evolve in this same manner. They missed the polar age range of evolution into albeit adulthood. Because once you crown your late 20s and truly are a "20 something" finally certain life aspects begin to click, the biological clock begins to tick for some, the desire to settle down, the want to be more in life, want more out of life, the realization of some form of deprivation exists in your life. Some desired affirmations:

I want to get married
I want to have children
I want to buy a house, a Lexus, furniture
I want to remodel
I want to be and do more

You begin to sound and act like your parents in a sense. The way they might have acted before having children. The standard progression into "adulthood" if I may. I look back at my pictures that The Chad and I took and we did A LOT. We traveled, we partied (a LOT because we had the means), we bought lots of luxury cars before I was even old enough to receive the late 20s auto insurance discount, I bought a house, got credit cards that were maxed and paid off a lot, and shortly before I turned 25 I realized I wanted more.

So in my time frame I did a lot, I learned A LOT, I cried a lot, cursed growing up, was frustrated, pissed, confused, lost and found, but most of all I had fun. I had fun figuring out what the hell I was doing, where I was going, who I wanted to be, what I wanted out of life. I realized what I was and was not ready for, what I could and could not handle, the events that needed time and the events that needed to be put on hold. More so, I saw those who missed out. People who missed the 18-25 bus and did not get the chance to fail and succeed, live and learn, be an individual without anyone or anything tying them down, they missed out on being an "adult" and figuring out how to grow up. I found that I truly grew up, that my late teens and my earliest 20s were for fun. My mid-20s I started to have everything click, my late 20s I truly settled down. I had a son by this time, we bought another house, celebrated some wedding anniversaries, fell down and picked ourselves back up again. I am lucky I had my late teens and early 20s to figure life out by myself, no tie downs, no responsibility except to myself, no boundaries except my own, just me, by myself.

 

Now moving well into my 30s I can look back and laugh. I can enjoy my life of what I did, some of the mistakes I made and definitely learned from, the choice to marry when I did, have kids when I did, to look at the life I was leading and the life I wanted to lead. I grew up. I am still growing up. But now I can admit I know a lot of nothing, where before I thought I knew everything. I can also look back and know I have NO REGRETS. If I regretted any decisions I made, didn't make, should have made, I would not be where I am today. What were your choices? Where are you in your life? Are you still figuring life out?

Here is a beautifully written post by my friend Jenine. You know her as Badger Momma, absolutely breath taking the way 18-25 can shape your life in one way or another.

Gifts for Everyone: JumpStart Learn N' Play :: CLOSED

Can you see my kids theme yet? I know....more learning. But hey, learning is fun! Here is where learning is really fun and total play time for kids. All within moderation of course. I talked with the folks at JumpStart thanks to my fabulous friend Carissa Rogers (have you met her too? No...go check out her GoodN'Crazy Blog!) and they provided me with access to their online site. If you don't know JumpStart...YOU SHOULD! Here is a little bit of background:

JumpStart is about 3D interactive, adventure, learning games that stimulate the mind through critical thinking skills, math and reading, this allows your child to "get a real jumpstart in life (JumpStart, 2009)." 


Since 1991, Knowledge Adventure® has set the standard in kids’ software by creating the finest educational products for use in the home and the classroom. Today, Knowledge Adventure’s JumpStart® and MathBlaster® products invite kids to learn through endless gaming adventures in 3D virtual worlds. By blending learning and entertainment, Knowledge Adventure’s adventure-based learning inspires kids’ minds through immersed play. A subsidiary of Knowledge Holdings, Inc., the company is privately-held and based in Torrance, California. For more information, go to www.knowledgeadventure.com and www.jumpstart.com. (Jumpstart.com, 2009)

Now we were already a big JumpStart family as we bought Grant JumpStart software for the PC last year to help boost his kindergarten and first grade learning skills. The games are fabulous as they are created to be very age appropriate and allow your child to grow by leaps and bounds.

The online games are just as interactive and literally HOURS of fun. Grant asks each day to play his JumpStart game which is so good to hear from a mom's perspective as I would rather he play his JumpStart game than the Wii. Nothing against the Wii, but his current Wii games do not push his brain, they basically allow him to veg out. When he first logged in he was required to create his own "Jumpee" where the character looks like him. From there he moves into the play area and he can choose the different areas to explore. Right now

Right now he is in the underwater adventure in Adventureland and loving it! Adventureland is aimed at kindergarten to second grade. He told me the other day, "Mom, Dad, I really like playing JumpStart. I love playing it over Lego StarWars."

*GASP

   My Son?

Loves to learn over Lego Star Wars?

Mark the calendar!

So each day that he has good days at school he is able to spend 30 minutes playing the JumpStart games online. We can already see the difference in his learning with the advanced reading, his critical thinking and he is overall excited about learning and keeping his mind engaged. Pretty soon he will be able to move up to Futureland which is designed for third to fifth graders. Have no fear, younger kids can get in on the fun too with Storyland for the preschool kiddos.

But the games are not limited to just online and the PC software that we have purchased in the past. JumpStart also offers two Wii games, Escape from Adventure Island and Pet Rescue for an even greater learning experience for children. Overall the games offered with JumpStart are focused on 3-10 year olds which, in my opinion, is the prime learning age to really spark imagination and push the learning envelope. JumpStart isn't only for kids, parents can join in on the adventure fun as well, plus JumpStart offers a parents forum.

JumpStart offers the one year membership for $79.99 for unlimited playtime for the full year and here is the best deal you will hear all year JumpStart offers a LIFETIME membership of $149.99. Did you see that...A LIFETIME which is a steal of a deal considering the annual membership is $79.99.

But you my wonderful readers and learners extraordinaire have the opportunity to win a 3-month subscription to test drive and love the LearnN'Play as much as we have. Here are the details to enter:

MANDATORY ENTRY: Tell me how your kids would jump into adventure with learning.

EXTRA ENTRIES:

• Follow my blog and tell me you do
• Follow me on Twitter, tell me you do, tweet this giveaway with @KariewithaK (daily tweet entry, ONLY after the mandatory entry has been met)
• Follow JumpStart on Twitter
• Fan JumpStart on Facebook
  
• Fan The Fish on Facebook
• Follow my blog on Networked blogs (to the right)
• Enter one of my other giveaways (for each giveaway entry come back and leave me a comment, 3 giveaways, 3 comments)
  

 CONTEST ENDS NOVEMBER 30TH 

@ MIDNIGHT ARIZONA TIME.

Best of luck!

*Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency. Click HERE!   

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 HERE and all the fabulous participants, savings, and giveaways!