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The Five Fish

The Five Fish: 10/1/09 - 11/1/09

Friday, October 30, 2009


Like we have always said here at The Five Fish, some Jedi mind trick wisdom:

You can pick your nose

& You can pick your friends


Dedicated to my awesome friends. (You know who you are)

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Mrs Fish Thursday Tips and Tricks

Your Money, Investment, and Credit 411! Come check out this info. I was really trying to keep you from being bored stiff....but some super great info about investments and diversification, credit and boosting your rating.

Give me lots of questions.....otherwise you will have to hear me rant....about *!

I tried to KISS this one....but my stupid wouldn't let me keep it simple. Enjoy! Leave me your questions, money, how I am a turd, whatever your questions are, and let me know if you want to do a guest post! I need your email so I can get in touch with you! Anyway, enjoy your Money, Credit and Investment 411!

Mrs Fish Thursday Tips and Tricks from Karie Herring on Vimeo.

Sites:, Investopedia, FHA & HUD, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac

Got money matters? Financial Questions? Credit Concerns? Email me or leave me your questions in the comments. Have a fabulous day!

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Cheerios Spoonful of Stories Prize Pack :: CLOSED

Over the past eight years, Cheerios has given away more than 40 million children’s books by distributing them free inside cereal boxes and has donated $3.2 million to First Book, their non-profit partner, which provides books to children from low-income families. The program is part of Cheerios’ ongoing commitment to helping parents provide their children with a healthy, nutritional and educational foundation.

Beginning this month, Cheerios is again bringing books to the breakfast table, by providing six million children’s books free inside Cheerios boxes. The books are for children ages 3 to 8 years old, and include a brand new book in the popular “Trucktown” series, available only inside Cheerios boxes. And for the first time, all five books have been specially printed in both English and Spanish. This year’s book offerings from Cheerios – all by Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing – are: 

Junkyard Fort
, written by Jon Scieszka, and illustrated by David Shannon, Loren Long and Dave Gordon: Join Gabriella, Jack, Melvin, Ted, Lucy and the other Trucktown characters as they make their own fort, using things found in the junkyard. Ages 4-8.

Tea for Ruby, written by The Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, and illustrated by Robin Preiss Glasser: Wherever Ruby goes, a bit of disaster seems to follow. But one sunny morning, things change when the postman brings Ruby an amazing invitation: would she like to have tea with the Queen? Ruby needs to polish her manners, and quickly. Ages 4-8.

, written by Karma Wilson and illustrated by John Segal: In this rhythmic bedtime story, a cat is the parent and a teddy bear is the child who doesn't want to go to bed. All ready for bed with teeth brushed and story read, Sleepyhead teddy tries anything to prolong his bedtime; books and his quilt provide ample fodder for his imagination. Ages 3-7.

Ballyhoo Bay
, written by Judy Sierra and illustrated by Derek Anderson: Mira Bella, an artist who teaches painting and sculpture, loves Ballyhoo Bay and what it offers: sun, sea, sand, and sky. But one gray day a billboard arrives, announcing an impending development that would take all the fun out of the place. Read along to see if Mira Bella and her art can save the day and Ballyhoo Bay! Ages 4–8.

What’s Under the Bed?
, written and illustrated by Joe Fenton: Young Fred cannot stop worrying about the scary creature that might be hiding beneath his bed. Finally summoning the courage to peer under his bed, Fred, with his cumbersome glasses, sees that the only thing there is Ted, his friendly Teddy Bear! Ages 3–7.

[Courtesy of MyBlogSpark and Cheerios (a General Mills Brand)]

We here at The Five Fish LURVE Cheerios. My kids had Cheerios as their first finger foods, my son eats Cheerios for breakfast because of the low sugar content, and who doesn't just love a handful as a snack on a road trip. In no way did this program affect us, other than the additional reading material we received as part of this wonderful promotion.

DH and I strive to read and sing to our kids all the time. We think reading helps to foster imagination, improve educational strengths, and reading is a fabulous hobby. I mean I blew through the Twilight series in like four days flat. Non stop reading. We want our children to enjoy reading as much as we do and we also encourage Big G to read as much as he can on his own. Especially since he is doing the Harcourt reading program at school!

The Spoonfuls of Stories books we think fit into his Harcourt reading program. The books are great short stories that engage a child and their imagination, not to mention the cool activities at the back of the books. Grant is a HUGE fan of reading on his own now and as a parent the most wonderful feeling is seeing the lights click and the bulb light up when your child begins to read on their own, without the phonetic and parental attempts and assistance. Truly an indescribable feeling. Since he is such a new reader he has lots of fun books to read from educational to story-time books, so no specific favorite just yet. My favorite books as a child were Ramona, The Box Car Children, Charlotte's Web, and as I got older I became a fan of novels, poetry, prose, and comedies. (Yeah I am a bit of a literary snob at times)

So in an effort to promote a strong educational foundation with reading and healthy eating with Cheerios, The Five Fish are bringing you a Cheerios Spoonful of Stories Prize Pack which also includes a $25 Gift Card to Barnes and Noble!

PRIMARY ENTRY:  Tell me your reading story ritual with your children or maybe the importance of reading in your children's lives or maybe tell me your favortite character from your favorite book (childhood or otherwise)
(Please make sure you have an email address or your Blogger account is public, I like Sherlock Holmes, but I don't like to play detective.)

  • Follow my blog (or tell me you do)
  • Follow me on Twitter (or come tell me you do)
  • Tweet this Giveaway "Promoting healthy habits and reading for life with @CheeriosBrand and @KariewithaK, Win a Cheerios Prize Pack" (once per day)
  • Technorati fave this blog
  • Enter one of my other giveaways (3 extra entries)
  • Fan The Fish on Facebook
  • Blog about this giveaway (minimum of 100 words) (worth 5 entries)

Best of luck to you all!
*Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency. Click HERE! 

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Wordless Wednesday: Sunday Morning

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Monday Mingle, Monday Mingle,

Welcome to another rendition of Monday Mingle! To play along go visit Jen @ Okay, let me warn you......please pee before you leave to watch this mingle. I shall not lie. Also, this mingle was done completely drug and alcohol free. Yes, FREE I tell you! I am not one to take any sort of drugs....well maybe a multi-vitamin or two every now and again.

SO! On with this weeks questions:

1. Talk about a breast cancer awareness program and post a link to that site. You can wear pink if you'd like, or do something else for Breast Cancer awareness (this whole step should be simple). for Breast Cancer walk and Susan G. Komen
Buddy Check 12 to do your breast cancer check on the 12th of every month

2. What is the closest you have come to meeting a celebrity? Or have you ever met a celebrity? (this can be ANY celebrity- famous author/singer/actor/even blogger LOL) - thanks Annie for this question!
3. Would you rather lick a grocery cart handle or lick a bus stop bench?
4. Do you like to sing? Are you a good singer? What would Simon Cowell say about your singing (in your best Simon Cowell accent LOL)? Feel free to sing a short song if you want.
5. Make up a limerick or poem about Monday Mingle! (you know - limericks? "There once was a man from Nantucket....")

Like I said....pee now...or flee later!

AW crap....I totally forgot to do my chicken....but I sang!! K! I WILL, do the chicken next week. PROMISE!! Or.....if I get enough comment love....I will vlog just the chicken or my sheep...they are both pretty good.

Questions for next week:

1. Tell us a joke!
2. How old are you?  We are all friends here - we won't tell!
3. Do you like to dance? Are you a good dancer?
4. What were you for Halloween? Your kids?  Do you do anything special for Halloween?
5. What was your favorite subject in school?  Subject you hated?
6. Get someone else to do a Mingle!

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Saturday, October 24, 2009

"Slice" of Heaven: Five for Fighting AUTOGRAPHED CD Giveaway

If every album provides snapshots of where an artist’s mind at heart is at the moment, Slice, the latest offering from John Ondrasik (aka Five for Fighting), is a collection of digital jpegs and faded Polaroids. The album takes stories of friends, family and even American servicemen, and sets them to music shot through with the spirit of the great songs of his youth. It’s a diary, or a blog, in which Ondrasik speaks his mind about current issues, experiences and sentiments, while setting those thoughts to piano, bass and drums. [Source: One2OneNetwork]

If you loved Superman you will love this album (in my opinion of course). If you really liked 100 Years, you will REALLY like this album (again, in my opinion). Some albums are made where you like only a handful of songs, they resonate with you because of a time in your life, an event, some meaning is hidden in the words that shoots through your emotions. Five for Fighting has created an album (again in my opinion) that each song represents an event in our country, our lives, our emotions are touched. Some songs on the album make you want to get up and dance, cry, laugh at a memory, or just smirk. Here are the fabulous tracks to this new album:

1. Slice
2. Note To The Unknown Soldier
3. Tuesday
4. Chances
5. This Dance
6. Above The Timberline
7. Transfer
8. Hope
9. Story Of Your Life
10. Love Can't Change The Weather
11. Augie Nieto

Now if you are like and love to catch music LIVE, RAW, IN CONCERT!!! Well here are the show dates for Five for Fighting, where you can catch them in a live performance with your favorite songs and the new releases off Slice.
24-Oct                          Washington, DC                                   Jammin Java
26-Oct                          Boston, MA                                         The Paradise
27-Oct                          Philadelphia, PA                                   World Café Live (downstairs)
29-Oct                          Nashville, TN                                       The Belcourt
30-Oct                          Chicago, IL                                           Lakeshore
3-Nov                           Salt Lake City, UT                                The State Room
5-Nov                           Seattle, WA                                          Crocodile
6-Nov                           Portland, OR                                       Aladdin Theater
10-Nov                         San Francisco, CA                              Swedish American Hall
11-Nov                         Los Angeles, CA                                 Largo at the Coronet

If you have caught a "slice" of the new album then here is your opportunity to win it and enjoy for yourself, and what is even better, this is a great collectors item with the AUTOGRAPHED CD and hey, maybe a great gift for someone else to enjoy too!

The skinny on entering to win a copy of Slice:
  • Leave me your EMAIL address with ALL entries if you do not have your email enabled on your Blogger account.
  • Tell me how music has been a "slice" in your life.
  • Follow this blog (or tell me you already do)
  • Follow me on Twitter (or tell me you already do)
  • Tweet this: "Get your "Chances" for Five for Fighting: Slice autographed CD from @KariewithaK and @One2Onenetwork Plz RT"
  • Technorati fave this blog (or tell me you already have)
  • Fan the Fish on Facebook (or tell me you have)
  • Blog about this giveaway (no less than 100 words) and tell me you did with a link back (worth 3 extra entries be sure to comment for each)
  • Enter one of my other current giveaways and tell me you did (extra 5 entries, limited time only!)
  • Grab my Gift Guide button and blog (with link back) about how that starts Nov 1st with companies like Rubbermaid, Step2, Pedoodles, and MORE (extra 3 entries)

*Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency. Click HERE!
(Album Slice was provided on behalf of One2OneNetwork for promotional purposes)


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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Everything is a Process

I have been repeating that statement in my head ALL DAY. More than a million. Reminding myself. I really hate to come to my blog but this is the only place where I feel like I can get it out. Out of my head. Patch my bleeding heart in some way. (As the hubs asks me if I am downloading midget porn....thank you dear for the comedic relief....I needed a giggle)

I have to say thank you to so many....SO MANY of you who have given me your condolences. You truly have no idea how much of an impact that made on me. I had strength, I had courage, until today. The day of all days.

Why the FUCK (sorry...I'm emotional here) do people call it a celebration of life? Truly I know my grandpa had the most awesome life, but who was celebrating. Everyone I saw....crying. My poor aunts lost their composure today when watching the remembrance video. I held steady. My (if you can call him that) father was losing his composure. My brothers and sisters (all of them were there...which was cool....we haven't all been together since we were kids). My poor Big G his big sweet heart began to mist. But I held steady, shedding tears, but not my true pain. The excruciating, empty, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS WRONG WITH ME, sadness, pain, I mean I am a walking depression commercial. I wanted to actually Vlog this, because typing is painful when you have to continue to wipe tears on your shoulder while typing. GAWD.

Seriously, don't pity me or feel sorry. I just need to be able to get this out. To get out that I am bouncing through these feelings. My mind is so blank I had to Google the five stages of grief. I mean seriously!? I had them memorized and now I had to Google. Yeesh!
  1. Denial - I am in constant denial. Denial that the man who had more bearing on my life as a child than any other, who truly loved unconditionally (in my eyes) is gone. Never to be seen, heard, hugged, that is just killing me.
  2. Anger - Why!!?? Why did MY grandpa have to die. I know everyone has a time. But why now? Why when I only saw him at Christmas that I did not get a chance to make it more, to do more. Why not someone else, somewhere else.
  3. Bargaining - Dear God, Dear someone, please bring him back. I didn't see a body, he can come back, to love all those who love him. He can be well. I have to say this is THE first and only funeral I have been to where I have not seen someone in a casket. I know that sounds awfully morbid, but everyone who has died in my lifetime had a casket. I had closure because I could process in my mind a lifeless body to the beautiful soul. I know, sick, but its a mental thing clearly.
  4. Depression - My overwhelming feelings. I have moments where I am good. I keep going, I don't stop. I don't think I keep myself in a perpetual state of motion. I am matter, always moving, never stopping, not even a yield and I will be okay. But one look at his photo...I am a goner. I spiral into an emotional abyss that tears at my soul. An emptiness. Truly, as if I know that I have lost a bit of myself with this man. I think I am totally nuts. No one else is showing such feelings. No one else is a blubbering damn mess. I am crazy, I am losing it. Aren't I? People don't feel this way, get yourself together Karie. Pull it together. Someone will commit you. PULL. IT. TOGETHER.
  5. Acceptance - Mentally I have accepted his loss, my loss. But my heart has not accepted. So back again I go, through the previous four stages.
I try to pretend everything is normal, that I will be normal. But I want a whole day to cry, to not have to socialize with people acting like life is grand. It is, truly, but I wanted one day I could just bawl my eyes out till I needed ice packs for the swelling, to curse in anger, to yell blasphemy for my loss, to beg and plead with a God I do not believe in to bring my beloved back. My grandpa, the one person I have ever felt so close to. I guess that is why this whole ordeal is just a cluster for me. I have never had a loss of this proportion, of someone so close to me.  I feel like I have to hide this pain. To show I am strong, I will go on (which I know I will, but still, have you ever been hit so hard in the gut you lost your breath.....that is my feeling). Why do I feel like I have to jump to my acceptance? Has anyone else felt this? I know a friend of mine has, but I guess I need to call her (Yes Jen, I am talking about you! I wub joo....I will be emailing you or calling you where ever you are in your "retirement.") so I can really see if I am normal. If my feelings are normal. Because I truly hate that I feel so out of control with my feelings about my grandpa. Anyone else feel this way when they suffered a loss? How did you grieve? I know its a process....but good gawd.....

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Kushies Online Kritter Pillows Blow Out Sale

Check out these adorable pillows! My kids have something similar to these and they are blankets and not necessarily pillows (only because of their age). Look at the huge savings!,, Kritter Pillows
I just wanted to pass on this savings because who wouldn't and couldn't use a deal and with Christmas right around the corner?! Hurry before the sale ends!
[Source: Hilary Abbott Communications]
*Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency. Click HERE!

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Mrs Fish Thursday Tips and Tricks

VLOG Style Baby!

This is for you all who have lots of questions about money savers, I couldn't fit everything in.....but I tried. ;)

Also.....give me your questions!!
Auto Loans
What banks look at credit wise?
What affects your credit negative / positive?

Gimme some questions, I love to help out with that.

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Have you met the people who blog? I haven't. I have met them through their beautiful writings, tweets, Vlogs, emails, and IM's. Through these people I have seen beauty and strength. I have to say that bloggers are some of the coolest people around. Pat yourselves on the back, cheer, hoorah, because really I know that I am in the presence of greatness with some of the coolest, most genuine people. I am also super dooper UBER thankful for all the kind words, thoughts, prayers, kudos, MoJo, etc for myself during this time and for my family.

Seriously....some of the nicest and greatest people ever! You folks are awesome!

Now as a token....who wants to take a day off and come guest post? I would love to have some guest posts!

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Wordful & Wordless Wednesday A tribute


Daniel Robert Hudson
January 31, 1930 - October 17, 2009

I had quite the emotional post the other day in tribute of my beloved and much adored grandfather. I really cannot say much else other than even in his passing I learned so much more about him. He worked in the copper mines of Baghdad (Arizona...sheesh!), he played Semi-pro basketball (which explains his explicit knowledge of the game), he owned his own business not but a few years ago, and he was in the Special Services for the military. In addition to all the wonderful facts on my grandpa I am so blessed by my family, my friends (big Hugs to you Jen, I love you dearly!! You inspired my tribute to Grandpa!) and my bloggy friends for all the wonderful condolences. Without blogging I would have retreated inside. Holding all my feelings inside not dealing with my grief. While I am still in denial, I will begin to motion through the remaining stages of grief where I finally will come to my acceptance. Ultimately the most painful emotion, the healtiest.

Please if you can send karma, prayers, thoughts, MoJo for my grandmother. While she is being strong, I know this will be the strongest test of her faith in her lifetime. 56 years of marriage, she will need a higher power to provide divine strength as she too grieves and processes her feelings.

Thank you all, you have no idea how wonderful you are in my bloggy life and real life!!
Happy WW!!

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Sunday, October 18, 2009

He Hung and Roped the Moon

The ache, the constant nag, the swollen, sore eyes. While I wish these were all signs of my allergies I am heartbroken, at a loss, a loss beyond all words. Some of you have probably read my sisters very lovely post and we share our loss.

My dear, beloved Rock of the family. My Grandfather.

My grandpa is, was, and will be the only man I know who could look at me and see right through me. He KNEW me! He loved me and I loved him beyond everything man, material, cosmic, and heavenly.

He led a very long, experienced and good life. He was born in Indiana if I recall correctly, he served in the Navy where he met his long time wife, love, and pain in his ass my grandmother. He would goat her like no one's business, life to him was to be enjoyed. They met when she was young, she was 16 and he was 23, and on a blind date, arranged by her friend. Grandma said it was love at first site! Grandma and Grandpa have five children, 10 grandchildren, and nine great grandchildren.

Grandpa loved life and said if life was not enjoyed by you, it was not worth living. He told me that once when I was a little girl when we were handling his horse and that statement has stuck with me ever since.
Karie Herring, Karie Hudson, Dan Hudson,

He had many horses actually. He is and was my original cowboy. If ever you thought of a cowboy he was THE ONE. Rough, soft hands, tall and lean, strong and wiry. He was stern and gentle, sweet and saucy, mean and quiet all at once. You could smell the sweat and dirt on his Stetson (I can still recall the smell to this day), manure and dirt on his boots, the smell of the warm denim of his jeans, the leather from his chaps and saddle, the smell of a pipe or a cigarette lingering in his shirt mingled with the warm smell of cologne, a Polo brand. He was something to be reckoned with and a sight to see. I have only seen him angry once and he was never a man to fear, he was a man who demanded a sort of respect I have not seen to this day.

Grandpa had a story for everything. He was the man of the hour to take you on his lap, tell you all you needed to know about baseball and basketball, Horses and cars, life, men, and women. He was so wise beyond his years. He was not perfect but he was perfect to me. He loved his family like none other, family is, was, and will always be his life. He was my life. I could spend hours staring into his bold blue eyes, the eyes that never faded or changed with age, they were electric, all knowing, all loving, and you could always see his spunk.

I carry an immense amount of guilt though with his passing yesterday (October 17, 2009). All week I meant to email my grandmother to find the right time to come see him where he would not be uncomfortable. His health had deteriortated rapidly from when I saw him at Christmas. So a visit would almost incapicitate him, so I wanted to schedule time where I would leave the kids at home. Where I could have time with him alone as I knew this would upset his schedule. I never sent the email. I never got to see him one last time. I am riddled with guilt, at a loss. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, how he was my rock for the last 31 years, that I would be lost without him but I knew I would take his strength, his love to conquer all that I have. That because of him I have never lost sight, I always went for the impossible, I made the impossible possible because he knew I could do it. He told me never let anything get in the way of something profound and meaningful in your life.

Grandpa knew I had an unbridled fury for life and for exploring life. Grandpa and I were and are one in the same. We shared our secrets, he never judged and we knew how important we are and were to one another, how he still is my eternal love, he is the most genuine being I have ever met. Everything he said he meant, he used his words wisely. He taught me that I could be a lady, a girl, a woman, a mother, a tom-boy, and always be beautiful. He taught me to dance and to love Sinatra, he taught me to dance to Sinatra (Luck be a Lady) and the man could dance like a pro, as if he had clouds under his feet.

My dear Grandpa Dan, I know you are at peace, but selfish me wants you back, to give you your breath and take away the hurt and pain for one more day to spend with you, but in the words of Frank, you always did it your way!
I love you, your oldest Granddaughter, Kare Babe.

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Monday Mingle

Welcome again to Monday Mingle. If you want to play along please go check out my dear friend Jen, who will have all the skinny on mingling and all of the wonderful ladies who mingle! Super easy and the best way to Vlog and feel comfortable Vlogging on your blog.

This weeks questions are as follows:
1. Have you ever had any surgeries or have you spent more than one night in a hospital? What for? (only if you want to tell, of course!)

2. Does your spouse do any of the cooking? Is he/she a good cook? Be honest...

3. Do you speak any foreign languages fluently? What (if any) foreign language did you take in school?

4. What are your best budgeting/saving money tips?

5. What are a few of your worst habits?

Now....on with the show!!

Monday Mingle October 19 2009 from Karie Herring on Vimeo.

Next week's questions are:

1. Talk about a breast cancer awareness program and post a link to that site. You can wear pink if you'd like, or do something else for Breast Cancer awareness (this whole step should be simple).

2. What is the closest you have come to meeting a celebrity? Or have you ever met a celebrity? (this can be ANY celebrity- famous author/singer/actor/even blogger LOL) - thanks Annie for this question!

3. Would you rather lick a grocery cart handle or lick a bus stop bench?

4. Do you like to sing?  Are you a good singer? What would Simon Cowell say about your singing? Feel free to sing a short song if you want.

5. Make up a limerick about Monday Mingle!  (you know - limericks?  "There once was a man from Nantucket....")

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Friday, October 16, 2009

Friday's Feast with Cajoh

Hey Folks today is Friday and to be honest....I am going to take a snooze a roo! A little me time today and this weekend with the fam and get caught up on some much needed projects to be handled!

But enough of me....please go check out Mr. Cajoh who is wittingly funny, super nerd smart in the coolest way EVER and he has today's Friday Feast! With lots of YUMMO-O good recipes from other bloggers and himself!

Go share in the fun and post your recipes to him and play along!

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

When a parent leaves

My dear bloggy friend Melissa has this awesome little blog which landed her on a little show called Dr. Phil (well not EXACTLY like that, but thats not the point). She was called to be a part of the show because of her very STOUT opinion about motherhood and parenting. Her post and her position on the show resonated with me as a mother and with my inner child.

I am an abandoned child. No, my parents did not necessarily leave me at the firehouse to become a ward of the state. I was raised by both my parents until their divorce. My father moved out and then checked out, emotionally, physically, and mentally. His ties to his children were non-existent, if ever ties were present, hard to tell based on his actions. My mother, her sole focus was to be sure we were taken care of physically and basically. Food on the table, clothes on our back, roof over our heads. I do not blame my mother at all, she did what she had to do as a responsible parent and she went into survival mode. Nurture was not a priority when coming straight out of a nasty and bitter divorce. My mother did right with myself and my siblings, I commend her for all that she endured with raising three kids alone and the trying years we gave her. She could have made the choice to leave. To leave her three children in the care of a man who was not even half able to care for himself, who had (and still has) addiction issues, denial, emotional detachment, strong sense of egoism. While my father was not the fittest parent to care for children he mentally, physically, and emotionally made the decision to leave. Which in my opinion is more damaging than a parent leaving based on a divorce.

While watching the bits of the show I was angry that mothers, MOTHERS, do this to their own children. They make the decision to leave, possibly out of the whole feministic movement, who knows. What I do know is that everytime I leave my house without my children my uterus turns in knots. I know when my oldest does something he should not have before my husband even calls, I can tell when my twins have gotten hurt before I get a call, before I run to their aid I know exactly what is wrong. I feel like something is missing when they are not there. While I enjoy my personal time, I feel my sense of responsibility to them, ALL THE TIME.

I am not saying I am a perfect mother or a mother that has some tremendous bond. As a parent myself I have days, moments, hours where I want to escape. Escape the pressures of being a parent. But only for a moment, until I am brought to center. Where I have my three feet of personal space, to take some deep breaths, to have a moment of Zen. Then I can tackle yet again, this job, duty, the love of being a mother.

I watched as these mothers left. They felt no attachment. None. None to care for their children. To provide. To nurture. To build a protection and level of security that all children need no matter what their age. While my mother provided basics during and after the divorce was finalized she began to nurture again and still does. My mother is the sweetest most hearty woman I know. Her goodness is what makes me what I am today with the balance of my father and his not so stellar qualities. Which segues me back to my father and his detachment. When parents divorce and leave they make the physical decision to leave the shared home, stated fact. Okay, these two people clearly cannot be under the same roof. However, the decision to leave should not include the decision to check out emotionally.

I am tainted goods. I have an inner child with deep rooted damage of a father who left. A parent who abandoned not just because of the divorce, but because he chose NOT to care for his children. Father's to some degree I can see how this is easy, to disconnect from children, they do not have the internal bonding that a mother shares with her child in utero. At times when I think of my pregnancies I can pin point each rib that each child dug a heel or elbow into. I still get a wince of pain. So I can see how fathers may checkout. But I cannot understand for the life of me why a mother would leave. HOW? How can she live with herself? Is she so delusional to think that she has no responsibility to that child? I commend Melissa for what she does.

She is a step-mother to her step-children that live with her and her husband (children's father) FULL-TIME. You can read all about her story here. I connected with Melissa because when my father divorced my mother he was immediately "dating" his previous ex-wife. Yeah, my mom was #2. My father makes the wise decision then not even a year after they are separated to "date" and three months after the divorce is finalized in January of 1988, April 1988 my new half-brother is born. O.K.A.Y. But at least my less than acceptable father marries and impregnated (twice) a good woman. Yes in 1989 a half sister arrived. Nonetheless though, my step-mother was my surrogate mother every other weekend that we were in the drunken custody of my father. If not for this woman life would be unbearable, scary, and downright suicidal if not a complete free-for-all. My step-mother took myself and my two siblings in as her own. She loved us, fed us, clothed us even. She would take us on hikes, plan day trips, dance with us, color with us, teach us to cook. Sounds like any normal mom right? Except she did not bear us from her womb, she merely married my sperm donor, who divorced MY mother.

I truly understand and feel the pain of the loss of a parent. The disconnect. The abandonment. But I have to say I would be devastated, I would not be who I am today if I did not have my mother nor my step-mother. I have been blessed to have had TWO extremely beautiful, strong, loving women in my life who taught me love, respect, and beauty. They taught me that even when the going gets tough, you dig in, bear down, and fight. My mother fought for us in the divorce, she fought to not let my father make any attempts to rip us from her. So for those of you who have lost your mothers I am so sorry. I know your feelings, but cannot begin to feel your pain. Your pain is like no other than can be healed. The loss of a parent to death can be grieved through the stages of grief, but a parent and or mother especially lost out of her own self-decision is devastating. Mothers are the world. They don't call everything her mother Earth for no reason, because a mother is our entire worlds.

For those mothers and fathers who have left I wish I could wrap my head around your reasoning, your disconnect, your emotional detachment, your failure to adhere to the unwritten laws of parenting. I do not judge, I just wish some of us could understand. Are your motives selfish? Are they the inability to cope? How can you abandon your child? YOUR CHILD?

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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Raising Funds for Make A Wish Foundation

I had to share this wonderful press release about pediped® shoes and the Make a Wish Foundation. The Make a Wish Foundation is very near and dear to my heart and my family as I had two cousins that were diagnosed with a terrible degenerative disease (Batten's Disease) that there is no cure. Neither of the girls lived past their early teens. Make a Wish Foundation played a VERY BIG part in their lives and that of my aunt and uncle.

More than 50 well-known entertainers and athletes will participate in Stars for a Wish, an online auction of autographed pediped® baby shoes to benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation. The auction will run Oct. 25-Nov. 5th (NEW EXTENDED DATE) on Charity Buzz.  Celebrities who signed pediped® baby shoes for the auction include:

Jessica Alba, Halle Berry, Pierce Brosnan, Andy Garcia, Molly Ringwald, Rachel Weisz
Tim Allen, Courtney Cox Arquette, Marcia Cross, Jennie Garth, Whoopi Goldberg, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Heidi Klum, Charlie Sheen, Jon Stewart, Allison Sweeney
 Clay Aiken, Kenny Chesney, Faith Hill, Martina McBride, Ed Roland
Jerome Bettis, Anna Kournikova, Shaquille O’Neal, Mark Teixeira, J.D. Drew, David Ortiz, Adam LaRoche

Recipients will receive the shoes attractively displayed in a cherry-finished shadow box or clear acrylic box complete with an engraved plaque. 
The Stars for a Wish fundraiser has a minimum goal of $25,000, which will help grant the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions. One-hundred percent of the funds raised through the auction will benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
“We were overwhelmed by the willingness of so many celebrities, many of them already familiar with our brand, to generously help us support this cause,” said Angela Edgeworth, President and Co-Founder of pediped® footwear. “Now it’s all up to the public to bid high for these shoes so they not only receive a beautifully presented keepsake from their favorite celebrity, but more importantly, so they will be helping children facing life-threatening medical conditions.”
To learn more about the Stars for a Wish fundraiser and to view a complete list of participating celebrities, visit
About pediped®

Pediped® footwear was launched in 2004 by Angela and Brian Edgeworth in their quest for the perfect soft-soled shoe for their first daughter. Exceptional quality, unsurpassed comfort and distinctive styling have made the award winning company one of the fastest-growing children's footwear brands in the United States.  Pediped® footwear is sold in over 2500 stores in the United States and 40 countries worldwide with an offering of more than 120 designs for boys and girls between their two lines, Originals and Flex. Originals (soft-soled shoes for newborns to age 2+) and Flex (rubber-soled shoes for children 1-6 years) are available in EU sizes from 20 to 29. For more information, visit or call 1-702-567-0311.

About the Make-A-Wish Foundation
The Make-A-Wish Foundation grants the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy. Founded in 1980 when a group of caring volunteers helped a young boy fulfill his dream of becoming a police officer, the Foundation is now the largest wish-granting charity in the world, with 65 chapters in the United States and its territories. With the help of generous donors and nearly 25,000 volunteers, the Make-A-Wish Foundation grants a wish every 40 minutes and has granted more than 180,000 wishes in the United States since its inception. For more information about the Make-A-Wish Foundation, visit and discover how you can share the power of a wish®.
[Source: Hilary Abbott Communications, Inc., 2009]

(Kenny Chesney)

(Courtney Cox)

(Heidi Klum)
*Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency. Click HERE!

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These Kids Eat Like....Hobbits?

You thought I was going to say

I fooled you!!

Seriously I think my kids eat ALL the time. Non-stop from the moment they wake up to the time they go to sleep. You would never know with Sara, unless she has a tape worm or something, we don't call her Little Bitty for nothing! Seth and Grant could probably eat some linebackers or at least some fullbacks under the table FOR SURE! And they aren't fat.....but I have been tracking their eating, and seriously all day. So instead of telling you their eating schedule, please watch this informational video that I found on YouTube which will fully explain the extent to which my children eat....and the times they eat!

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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Big Winners

I have FIVE lucky winners to annouce for the A is for Admission:
drumroll please

Allie of MamaOTwins+1, Alice H., Heather, Karen

Ladies, emails have been sent, you have 24 hours to respond or another winner will be chosen.


The one you are all waiting for
drumroll again please

The Winner of the Harry Connick Jr CD is:

Amanda Short (Shortmama)

Your email has been sent and you have 24 hours to respond or another winner will be chosen.


Remember folks, Revenge Is giveaway still going on ends October 26


Herring Holiday Hunting 2009, The Five Fish Gift Guide
November 1st
LOTS AND LOTS of great gift ideas AND GIVEAWAYS!!!

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Wordless Wednesday - Double Trouble

Need I say more?
(Office Max never-ending rubberband ball and a high pressure sprayer)

For more Wordless and Wordful Wednesdays go check out these folks:
Extraordinary Mothers, 5 Minutes for Mom, WWHub, and of course our word loving mama Angie.

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October Breast Cancer Awareness - New Strides In the Fight With Stem Cells

So many men and women alike will be "Thinking Pink" this month as we promote and support Breast Cancer Awareness month. I can tell you that my thoughts and prayers weigh heavily for my dear friend Lisa who was diagnosed a few years back. She is a fighter, she is still fighting right now and her cancer is in remission. My neighbor, she is a survivor! My aunt, my sister, and my bloggy friend Amanda each had close calls with fibrous tissue, but still scary nonetheless.

In the continuing fight against breast cancer researchers are looking into new methods, new formulas (if you will) to harvest stem cells without the controversy of an embryo. Cryo-Cell International is an organization that is doing just these actions! They have partnered with the National Institutes of Health to explore the potential option and utilization of menstrual stem cells to treat breast cancer.

Before anyone starts feeling queasy, the idea is genius. A woman generates a perfectly hospitable environment for a growing life in utero, why not harvest those rich cells for use? The option to save your life, once a month. Research has found that cord blood from a newborn is potently rich in stem cells for the treatment of diseases and illnesses, why not the idea of another option for disease and illness treatments provided from a woman which is considered a bodily waste. What researchers are saying at C'Elle:

These menstrual stem cells are unique because they have many properties and characteristics similar to both bone marrow and embryonic stem cells; they multiply rapidly and can differentiate into many other types of stem cells such as neural, cardiac, bone, fat, cartilage and possibly others; demonstrating great promise for future use in clinical regenerative medical therapies. (Cryo-Cell International Inc, 2009)

C'Elle is a division of Cryo-Cell that currently is handling, processing, storing, and researching the possibilities of menstrual stem cells in the treatment of breast cancer through the . What else is great?

For Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Cryo-Cell is offering contributions through Cyro-Cell Breast Cancer Donation to the Susan B. Komen Foundation. $50 for each purchase of the “Protect Baby, Protect Mom” service and $25 for each purchase of the “C’Elle Menstrual Stem Cell” service by contributing through C'Elle Breast Cancer Donation . I encourage you to find out more about Cryo-Cell and these new strides in the fight against breast cancer.


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I Said I Got Sauce

If you watched my Mingle on Monday you saw that I had a billow of steam behind me. Some quite literally thought I might torch my kitchen, behold.....the power of the Fish! Okay, so I am kidding, but the steam was much, probably from the fact I had the hood on trying to suck all of that steam away.

So I promised my winning recipe from these lovely items that I share in my Friday post about how I Heart my CSA. If you did not read, go back, gaze upon the fruits of the Earth! Because I ate almost everything in that photo. Not alone! Dear GAWD NO! I had help. Again, the fruits:, Karie Herring, recipes, CSA, organic
Okay quite a bit in this photo, but feast your eyes on those BEAUTIFUL organic tomatoes! YUM! And just to the left of those juicy, perfectly delectable tomatoes is a bushel (not a true metric measurement bushel) of Licorice basil. Just absolutely beautiful as well, the smell is intoxicating, and the taste, OH SO SWEET!

My recipe for some Grrrrrreat sauce:

1/2 c. Vodka (any Vodka will do, set aside a little extra for you with a lime and ice)
4 c. diced tomatoes (if you don't have enough fresh tomatoes......canned works AWESOME!)
1 can tomato paste (I bought organic since it was as cheap as the regular stuff, but again, any type will do!)
1 T. onion power
3 cloves of garlic, finely minced
1/4 Purple bell pepper for a bit of zing
2 basil stalks (my stalks are huge and I love Basil, but use it to your liking an taste)
1/2 t. Oregano
1/2 t. Parsley
Salt/pepper to taste
(For a bit more of a biting sauce, add 1 t. crushed red pepper, I pulverized mine so it mixes well, you can do the same with the back of a spoon and a Ziploc bag)

In a large skillet or deep pot, add tomatoes and dry ingredients (onion powder, oregano, parsley, salt/pepper, basil, bell pepper) bring to a low boil. Slowly add vodka and return to a boil. Add in can of tomato paste and stir, reduce heat to simmer. Simmer for as long as your desired taste and thickness (I simmered mine for most of the day), the vodka brings out a very rich taste in the tomatoes. Be sure to add garlic 20 minutes before serving. This allows the sauce to maintain the garlic flavor and taste, otherwise if you are not a garlic fan, add at the beginning with all dry ingredients.

I also like to add sausage to my sauce, Italian sausage, Jimmy Dean Breakfast sausage, or ground beef all works WONDERFULLY!  I also LOVE a sweet Italian ground turkey meat as well. YUM!, Karie Herring, recipes, spaghetti, tomato sauce, organic
Remove from heat and serve over spaghetti, angel hair, or any desired pasta. VOILA!

BTW - I think you will find there is LESS sugar and LESS calories in this homemade recipe than a standard jar of sauce. Plus, I think it tastes better. But I am a food snob too!

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Brandi Carlile: Give Up the Ghost Album Review

One2One_Network_MainFall has to be the best time of year! Tons of great media out at this time of year. Seriously, I will say it again, all the great TV shows are back on for fall, movies in time for Thanksgiving, and the music scene is EXPLODING!

Speaking of exploding, have you heard Brandi Carlile? I had not heard of her name to be quite honest, but her sound was familiar. The awesome folks at One2OneNetwork provided me with a download so that I could see hear for myself what Brandi is all about. And I tell you once I heard her music she reminded me of the young, breakout sounds of Sarah McLachlan. Brandi has such a fun, unique, soulful sound with emotional lyrics, she has her own style that is just absolutely contagious.,,, Karie Herring
I love her songs "Looking Out" and "Dying Day." I have them in my iPod when I go jogging every night because each has a great beat, a makes you want to move rhythm, not to mention the beats per minute are perfect for boosting your cardio! She also has some really great slow ballads that emote strong emotion, but I am a feeler, I feel my music. I don't just listen to my music because music is life in our house.

Speaking of life and music, maybe you recognize Brandi's sound? Any Grey's Anatomy fans out there? (Waving hand WILDLY!!) Yes, Brandi has been a featured track artist for the show along with several commercials, so if you recognize her, your favorite fall show is where you have heard her wonderful music. But don't take my word on how rocking this girl is with her funky country, rock, pop sound and her soulful, emotion filled music. Find out more about Brandi and her new album "Give Up the Ghost" in the Brandi Carlile newsletter.

Here is her current track list for "Give Up the Ghost":
Looking Out
Dying Day
Pride And Joy
That Year
Before It Breaks
I Will
If There Was No You
Touching The Ground
Oh Dear

*Five Fish always blog ethically and with transparency. Click HERE!

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Step2 Creative Kids in the Kitchen Contest,
Step2 is introducing a wide array of new kitchens covering a variety of price points, home décor styles and play pattern needs. Whether for boys or girls, experts like best-selling children’s cookbook author, Barbara Beery agree that having and using a play kitchen in a home builds imaginations and cultivates a love for cooking while helping to promote a lifetime of healthy eating habits., appliances,, contest

To celebrate creativity in the kitchen for both parents and kids, Step2 is announcing a national contest that will award ONE grand-prize of a NEW DREAM KITCHEN SUITE from Frigidaire, including a refrigerator, dishwasher, over the counter microwave, and oven, as well as a new Step2 toy kitchen of their choice., Step2, Frigidaire, kitchen, cooking,

The “Step2 Creative Kids in the Kitchen Contest” is asking families to submit an essay of 250 words or less on how they foster creativity when cooking and have fun in the kitchen together. Second place prize is a Step2 kitchen of their choice, while one third place winner will receive a $50 gift certificate good toward any toy on

The Step2 Creative Kids in the Kitchen Contest begins on September 15, 2009 at 12:01 a.m. ET and ends on December 4, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. ET.

[Source: Step2 IPK]

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Monday, October 12, 2009

Mother of All Blog Awards

I have to tell you I am just amazed at all the AWESOME, genuine, good-hearted, RAWKIN' women and moms of the blog-o-sphere! I tell you I just LURVE you all. Can you feel the love? NO? Well here you go.

You see my friend Mel, who makes me laugh on Skype and has super UBER giveaways, she passed me this awesome award and we LURVE her for it, so please go check out her UBERNESS if you haven't already.You might know she is "Outnumbered" in real life....but here....we blogga's come in numba's (okay that was totally lame cool)

And you did this super AWESOME, fabulous Mom who is doing right by her family, do you know her, A Mom After God's Own Heart, you should know her, she is just LOVELY.

But life gets totally BETTER, because if I didn't already have the coolest entourage of reading (yes I read these ladies and I get giddy when I see their email....DAILY) the Dynamic Duo of PINK and POSH have nominated me for the same award! So I have to say if you are not reading these ladies....FAIL. Seriously, love them because everyday I feel B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L and they have UBER DUPER giveaways too!

Just when I thought I had enough to bust out of my britches.....dear, sweet, SANE, theatrical, Lauren was SUPER OOPER awesome to nominate me for the Warm and Cozy. I love the thought you someone might feel warm and cozy at my blog. RAWK ON! Come latte up here anytime Lauren. Muwah! xoxo

Without further adieu as I am humbled yet again by some super fabulous bloggers who love my CRAZY, my ranting, my emo, I am suppose to pass on to a BOAT LOAD of other bloggers and here goes! I am suppose to link to 15 (for each award) of bloggers I have found...which is a lot quite frankly, so I am going to go with the bloggers I have found from my comments section. Yes YOU! My lovelies, my PRETTIES!

  • Lauren, sister love you come get your best blog award. Post it proudly love!
  • My Poshy Nicole, I love you from here to the MOON! Now I just have to meet you and your duo (in RL)! You get the Warm and Cozy, as I always feel warm and cozy about mahself at yours and Jeri's place!
  • Mel, come get you some sister! Wam and cozy fo SHO! Like a little Gnome Warrior, punt worthy. (WoW reference....sorry)
  • Erin, my chillaxin love, you make me feel warm and cozy for SURE, and of course you have the best blog of course...all my friends do!
  • Speedy, I wubs joo! What more can I say.
  • Mama Hen, I know....I said it out loud, You are the best blog (because you so deserve it!) and I felt so at home in your Vlog. Warm and Cozy!
  • Callie, My Jamerican Spicy love. Come get you some!
  • Equidae, Mel, I love you my dear friend. I finally got my passport, I will soon, find a way to hop the pond to come visit! 
  • A Mom After God's Own Heart, you are the epitome of Warm and Cozy good lady! Come get you some too! Spread the love like butter!
  • Stacie, my dear, patient, STRONG, beautiful friend. You so deserve this for all you do. Folks check her out and LEARN and support autism awareness. HUGS!!
  • Helen, she is A FOODIE after my own heart. Man can this woman manuever a kitchen. And ON a budget! Hop the pond to see her. We WUB her here at The Fish.
  • Amanda, My Short Mama, I told you! I told you I had something up my sleeve. Come get you some. Oh folks, she is a fellow Zonie, so we REALLY lub her too!
  • Carissa, She is good and Crazy! I love her! She is a Mormon after my own Pagan heart! Just kidding, had to give you snark because I love you! Get your awards sister! The least I could do for what you have done for me. HUGS
  • I Wonder Wye, she is HYSTERICAL! This woman has lived, is living, is wonderful I so enjoy her stories. Makes me want to always curl up and read.
  • Michelle, who has a thousand pictures to tell a thousand stories and they are magnificent. If you do not read or see what she has...GO DO EET NOW!
  • MamaOTwins, is my Irish Twin, she must. She has crazy like me, I like how we crazies stick together. Like a village, or an island, or something. She is fantastic.
  • Kara, she has a purposeful blog and a great Green chile recipe. I dig her food thinking! I love food hot and spicy!
  • Amy, she is fanatically FUNNY! Great stories, great wit, her blog is one I like to lurk. I am a lurker, like a hunter. 
  • BlueViolet, I LURVE her, she is like a surrogate mom, sister, we are kindled flames together. She RAWKS my bloggy world and is FUNNY AS all get out!
  • Auntie E, she is a busy bee! She is just as sweet as jam, go get your read on with her. Very warm and cozy!
  • Lizz, she barely has any nerves left, or sanity maybe? She is a night owl like if you came here looking for your award....its here. In my drafts, preparing to be posted. We LURVE Lizz. And you should root her on because she is getting her SEXY back! WOOT
  • MamaDweeb, she rocks! A dweeb after my own heart, I LURVE that! She is also the coolest new Monday Mingler.
  • Simply Me, another Mingler. We blog chicks get around and its all good. She is too cute and sweet as can be, I love her Southern Belle accent. Go love on her!
  • Melissa, My sister from another life, my love, my muse. She is rockin' and drooling, mom gone mental, though I don't think her kids are doing that to her much anymore if you read her blog. LURVE you! 
I think that is about all the bloggy love that I can muster right now....I have lots, if I did not name you, I do WUB JOO very much! I read. I read lots, but right now. My bed is calling me so I can go make love to my sheets, my cool, cotton sateen sheets that need LURVE too!

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Sunday, October 11, 2009

Monday Mingle

We're back!!! For yet another Mingle on this glorious Monday, October 12th. Who could not love Monday's! Seriously with all the fun gals to go mingle with. We also need to rally around Christine....she has been camera shy lately, we finally got her video mingling again with us! YAY Mama!!

You think you can handle mingling with us? Head on over to Jen's Place to get your Mingle on. She has the skinny and a place to submit more questions for the mingling we do. Ask away, we love to answer.

So here are this week's questions:

1. What famous person (movie stars, tv stars, musicians, etc.) have you been told you look like?
2. What were your favorite songs/bands in your teens?
3. What laws have you broken and gotten away with? (don't worry - we won't tell anyone - promise!)
4. Do you like games (board games, cards, etc.)?
5. Which are you favorites?When was the last time you laughed so hard that you cried?
6. Speaking of crying - what movie(s) make you cry like a baby every time you see it?

Monday Mingle October 12, 2009 from Karie Herring on Vimeo.

Want to know how to play next week? Here are the questions! Be sure to go visit all the fun ladies, oh and gents since some of the Hubs have been playing along too! Happy Monday!

Next Week's questions:

1. Have you ever had any surgeries or have you spent more than one night in a hospital? What for? (only if you want to tell, of course!)
2. Does your spouse do any of the cooking? Is he/she a good cook? Be honest...
3. Do you speak any foreign languages fluently? What (if any) foreign language did you take in school?
4. What are your best budgeting/saving money tips?
5. What are a few of your worst habits?

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Plays Well With Others: Kindergarten Lessons

Recently I have been the proud parent of a semi-defiant, attitude riddled, six year old boy who properly dropped the "F" bomb at school in proper context. His outed behavior, society, and a certain community are something of a lesson to be learned.

Lately I have seen buzz, tweets, blogs, posts, blah blah blah about drama drama drama. Here is my fishy take on drama based on the sayings from a wise man, "You are who you associate yourself with."

Roger. Are you scratching your head? Let me say this, if you hang out with people who generate drama, incivility, rudeness, egoism, then you will attract the aforementioned. Maybe you are saying, but I still generate drama and I am "not even doing anything." Again, possibly guilty by association.

My son, he was guilty by association. He associated himself with a behavioral heathen. The boy he was hanging out with had ZERO disciplinarian action at home, clearly. I am sure he is a good boy, but he lacks structure and he happened to rub off on my son who in turn morphed into a behavioral heathen for a few days.

I have seen grown adults act in this manner. Everyday. At work. The store. On the road. At my son's school at the parent pick-up line, and lastly the internet. People acting like a bunch of ninnies! Why? Attention. Chaos. The flat out fact they cannot handle being bored maybe, I am sure they have their unknown reasons.
Karie Herring,

Additionally, I have seen grown adults name call like a bunch of kindergarteners. I mean seriously!? Nonetheless surprising though when a U.S. Senator goes to such great lengths to call the President of the United States a LIAR! I mean really, great, your opinion, not a fact, and truly what was accomplished by such an action. Nothing. The jackass senator had to issue an apology, he had to grovel, for acting like a putz.

Which segues into why do people call names? Why belittle? And then why claim to support empowerment, community, comraderie, only to turn around when the first person is negative and call them a name? Have you seen the name calling? Troll. Bitch. Idiot. Fraud. Liar. Carpet Bagger (which is my fave....I don't think a lot of name calling ninnies understand the true meaning of this, brush up on US History would you). I am truly perplexed at the back stabbing capabilities and name calling of people. Actions such as these do not even render a school aged genre, but more of what is your point? What are you accomplishing?

My take....which take it or leave it, my feelings cannot be take on the situation of name callers, two faces, and hypocrites is that they do not know how to deal with people who:
  1. Have a difference of opinion. Without different opinions life would be dull. Colorless. Bland. My personal intellectual level would drop if I did not have people around me with various outlooks, opinions. Opinions and beliefs are the spice of life, what makes life interesting, note worthy, promotes enlightenment to those who wish to embrace enlightenment with an open mind.
  2. Harvest personal feelings of insecurity. People call names because all of the sudden they feel threatened. Hurt. Scared. They might feel less than, so rather than embracing, again, differences in other people, they call names almost like a  "fight or flight" mechanism. They belittle to the point where they themselves are reduced to an ethereal wisp of a soul and then they feel worse.
  3. Exude a greater amount of personal success on various levels. Name calling and attacks happen too out of jealousy. I personally, I do not envy nor do I get jealous over tiddly things. If I see something that is better, nicer, etc I work harder, smarter, I create a balance. I assess do I really want that and what that better something brings? What are the consequences if any? By embracing that someone has something better, commend them, ask them, "Hey that is awesome, how did you start to end where you are?" People with REAL success do not have to tote it around like a monkey on their back, they do not have to go to great lengths to say "Hey! Look at me! I am a success!" You know the ones, the douche-bag  type that goes and buys a Bentley when he says he cannot afford to pay the employees in his company. Even though they act like a douche, you don't tell them, no reason, you get nowhere that way.
I think a lot of people were taught the correct thing to do in the face of adversity. He or she was taught to embrace, kill people with kindness and get other people talking. If someone comes and bags on what you say, my response would be:

"I appreciate your feedback, but I do not appreciate your insults. What is your take on the matter, I would really like to hear other's opinions?"

This comment will generate a conversation and not an insult fest. If you reply like this:

"Ok Troll. Go FUCK yourself." (Now I am going to go Google Earth your house based on your IP and post for everyone to see how stinking cool I am"

Really...not cool. Besides if someone comes back with their reply, listen, if you don't agree. Say I really appreciate your feedback. People like to be validated. We all do. If our feelings and opinions are not validated then we also go on the attack. Children do it, adults do it. People have feelings and opinions and they should always be respected whether you agree or not. The spice of life, differences, beliefs, color, how boring life would be if those elements were missing.

So next time you run into a sticky situation of playing well with others consider what was said before, is there really any point to belittling and name calling? Be the bigger man, grow a pair and be kind (rewind...ha sorry!) and check out these great ideas from Robert Fulghum, who wrote the book "All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten."

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