Letters I never intend to send

I love writing letters. Especially ones with such raw emotion, with vigor....I love vigor, and you can vent all your angers, frustrations, hurts, and sadness without repercussion or worries. So today while battling with Pickles Magoo on his napping (or failure to take one) I thought I might take a moment to relax. Catch up on my friends' blogs and all they have going when I hear screams...two to be precise coming from down the hall. One is Pickles Magoo, with a faint choking sound, and the other is Big G again a faint sound of distress and I am unsure so I jump from my chair and book it to the intersection of three doors.

I felt like Bob Barker should have jumped out with flashing lights from the Price is Right to help be choose a door because I opened all of them. No new car...damn. Twins in their cribs, no one is choking, okay onto door number three. NOT door number three. Please oh please.....why did I have to open door number three.

While nothing Earth shattering....or at least not in my mind....had taken place, Big G was standing in a mess the was preemptively caused by his loving, and sometimes clueless father whom I love, adore, and wanted to strangle.

There I stood....in the bathroom with water, I will go with water so I feel okay, under my feet and three screaming kids. Armed with nothing I scrambled for the plunger. All the towels were in the wash....Cheese and rice who's bright idea was it to wash all the towels today!? Oh right, me. I plunge the toilet cursing Big G's fathers name over and over and handle that small fire. Run into the Squids room to handle their fire.......still reeling in my anger and frustration I sat down to write this letter to DH that I never intend to send:

My dear love,

I understand nature comes calling. We all, as beings upon this Earth, either animal, insect, and or bird will generate excrement of sorts that must be expelled from our bodies for proper operations. However, your asshole is no different than any other in this household. Each of us has an asshole, each of us will take a heinous shit from time to time. These do not mean that you qualify to use MORE toilet paper than usual to wipe an asshole that quite frankly is the size of a quarter. Your ass on the other hand may be large, but your starfish is much smaller. Please take heed next time you wipe your ass that if you require a double flush to hang around and flush that second or maybe a third time so as to avoid a high speed blow out for me to clean up. Otherwise I will suggest you take the "Proper Ass Wiping Class" with your five year old son in order to learn proper technique and adequate toilet paper consumption. Thanks again for playing, have a great day.

Your loving wife and Plunger Employer Extraordinaire,
Karie

I felt so much better to have gotten that out and we never had to fight about it. I just told him how we had a clog....preemptively caused by him, and all was right again.

I am never bored....

Not true....I am actually bored quite often.

My therapist Patricia "Pat" always tells me,
"Bored is healthy, bored is good."

Bored is good for the boring. Pft! No really, I like being bored, but I feel unaccomplished. I know, sounds crazy, which is why I pay $75 a hour for a great therapist! Anyway, I have found a new project! Actually I am planning on, OK seriously hoping, that my little project turns into a successful venture.

I have always had a love of all things homemade. I am a big fan! I mean I try to homemake a lot of our family meals among other things in our home. So one day, while sitting in my bathroom.. thinking...I had an idea. I will try to start my own little business.

I won't do catering.....too many issues and I don't have a big enough kitchen. Although I know I can do it...just a lot can go wrong. Will go wrong. and I do not want to clean that mess.

I won't do a franchise....not right now at least.
Too much initial investment and too little return on the initial investment.

I can do homemade bath and body. I love bath and body. I live for bath and body.

Seriously, in my bathroom I have at least 30 different designer perfumes....not counting all the samples I have received here and there. Soaps?! Yeah, I got soaps from the homemade French savons to the local farmers market cold processed. I love soaps. Maybe has to do with my OCD of cleanliness but I love feeling clean, smelling clean, or using the soaps for just a great fragrant accent in a drawer, bathroom, or just as a decorative accent in a bathroom.

So here has been my little project and of course the little linky on the right hand sidebar.....yeah the brown box...Little Bitty Soaps....that's me:

Cold Process "Sweet Pea Pie" Hot Process "Spa Massage"
(honey, oats, sweet almond oil)


Hot Process "Boyfriend" Bath Soak Salts & Teas
Lavender & lavender leaves

Hot Process "Honeymoon"
Lavender & Rosemary

Dirty Jobs

Mom's always have the luxury of the dirty jobs in the house. Not sure why....but we do.

Mine include picking up the land mines my bulldog has strategically placed in the backyard when attempting to play with the kids (poo on foot..YUM), laundry....definitely a dirty job, taking the trash to the curb (DH attempts to on most weeks but forgets), of course changing dirty diapers.

But one job appears to be the taboo in some households.....but not mine.

The other night while giving the Squids their nightly bath, DH was so kind to draw the bath for the little gnomes and proceed to wash them while I did dishes. (Another dirty job)
I walked in just when Pickles Magoo was set to be dried off and readied for jammies (another dirty job.....here is why) when I noticed he had what appeared to be a bit of a rash.
Not your typical splotchy rash, but one that was a solid red.....and in the worst spot.
Right on his "junk" as referred to by Big G and DH.
Yes, the poor boy had a solid red looking rash right on his baby testicles. Upon further investigation I found that he was probably just a tad chapped from his diaper and that the rash would clear once we dried him off and put in a fresh diaper.

So I went about drying him off and lubing him up (what we refer to as putting on lotion) when DH looked over at me and this conversation took place:

DH: You gonna do anything for his rash?
Me: No should be fine, it's already subsiding.
DH: Well you are already lubing him up.....why don't you get his junk, just rub it all over and that should help.
Me: (As if I didn't already know that.....I am a mom!! DUH!! Look that I give him)
Me: *Continued moment of silence
DH: What?
Me: I just realized that I have lubed up every male's testicles in this house......

It's a dirty job.....but someone has gotta do it!!

Day 1 "FREE" Week Product Review - Dr. Ron's Ultra-Pure Body Care, Shampoo and Conditioner

Welcome to Day 1 of The Five Fish "FREE" Week.

Today we are going to explore the preservative free products of Dr. Ron's Ultra-Pure Body Care. You might be asking how can body care products such as shampoo and conditioner possibly have preservatives. Well I wondered as well and began to research and found that almost every shampoo on the market has this #1 nasty ingredient, ready, "SODIUM LAUREL (LAURYL) SULFATE".

Okay, so I know you are wondering what this compound mineral is in our hair products. Sodium laurel sulfate is a cheap detergent and is what makes our shampoos as sudsy as they are. You know what I mean, that great foaming action that makes us believe our hair is getting so clean...WRONG! In fact sodium laurel sulfate is an irritant and is a carcinogen...yup washing your hair can cause cancer, who would have thought. The second preservative is paraben which prevents bacteria and fungal growth in almost all beauty products, again another irritant, allergenic, and carcinogen.

So I came about researching this because I have been trying to find organic or as close to organic as possible for my family. Buying organic products not only reduces our overall carbon footprint, but the products are absolutely superior for your overall health. Big G has eczema so I have to be careful with what I use on his skin or he is a mess and takes months to clear him up. The Squids are also new babies, but have so far (so good!) been a-ok with standard OTC products. I, on the other hand, I have to use glycerin type washes or my skin is a mess as well.

The staff and Dr. Ron sent me the MSM Shampoo and MSM Moisturizing Conditioner. Here is some information straight from the Dr. Ron website about the products and about Dr. Ron:


MSM Shampoo


With herbs, nutrients and essential oils, MSM strengthens hair and restores elasticity. A rich supply of mucopolysaccharides and protein in our conditioners leaves hair soft, light and shiny. We avoid the use of sodium laurel sulfate, a cheap, harsh detergent often derived from petroleum and disguised in pseudo-natural products with the phrase “comes from coconuts.”

• Soft, shiny hair results from superior nutrition – but our great shampoos and conditioners will bring out your hair’s natural qualities like no other products.
  Our unique blend of oils, herbal extracts, and nutrients strengthens hair, restores elasticity and repairs split ends.
  MSM Shampoo contains a rich concentration of sulfur in the form of MSM for maximum benefits

MSM Moisturizing Conditioner

• For dry or damaged hair, our MSM Moisturizing Shampoo and MSM Moisturizing Conditioner have an extra high concentration of essential oils. Eight ounces each.
  Blended with coconut and olive oils, herbal extracts and nutrients, essential oils have exceptional moisturizing qualities and help restore beautiful luster to your hair.
  Essential oils contain characteristic plant aromas that leave a gentle fragrance and help hair stay fresh between washings.

Here is a little about Dr. Ron, straight from his website:

Dr. Ron’s Ultra-Pure began in 2000 to provide our patients with the purest and most effective nutrients, formulas and special foods. Many other people now use Dr. Ron’s products. We thank all of you, especially members of the Weston A. Price Foundation and the Price-Pottenger Nutrition Foundation, two organizations that are doing so much good work to further accurate understanding of nutrition. We are committed to providing the finest supplements to complement traditional diets.
We Source Materials from America, New Zealand and Europe
Most of our source materials are from America. We secure organs and glands from free range, grass fed New Zealand animals raised without pesticides, hormones or antibiotics. High-vitamin cod liver oil is imported from Norway and meets the strictest standards of purity. Other materials are occasionally sourced in Europe, Japan and Korea, depending on quality and availability of supplies. Contamination of source materials for supplements and pharmaceuticals in recent years has led us to avoid sources with potential problems. Careful and selective sourcing of raw materials provides an extra measure of safety. You may be confident that all Dr. Ron’s Ultra-Pure products contain only and exactly the nutrients listed prominently on the labels.
The Ultra-Pure Promise of Purity, Quality, Potency and Value
Dr. Ron’s Ultra-Pure products are designed and manufactured by a team of supplements professionals and health care providers with extensive clinical experience in natural medicine. Source materials are carefully tested for purity and potency. Many of our products, including Doc’s Best and other innovative formulas, New Zealand organs and glands, and high-vitamin Norwegian cod liver oils, are unique. In our formulas, we combine synergistic ingredients at optimal doses to create maximally effective products. We use no lubricants, fillers, binders, coatings, flowing agents, or other added ingredients of any kind. Because we use only the pure nutrients, our supplements achieve maximum absorption, and are truly hypoallergenic.

Ron Schmid, ND, has practiced naturopathic medicine since 1981. He served for two years as Chief Medical Officer and Clinic Director at the University of Bridgeport College of Naturopathic Medicine. Ellen Triplett , Lac, has a Master’s degree in Chinese Medicine.
Dr. Ron is the author Traditional Foods Are Your Best Medicine and The Untold Story of Milk. He is on the honorary board of the Weston A. Price Foundation and has written for Wise Traditions, the quarterly journal of the Foundation.

You must be itching to know......how did a "free" shampoo and conditioner measure up? Well I have tried a lot of salon shampoos/conditioners, claimed "organic" shampoos/conditioners and I have to say that Dr. Ron's is by far the most enjoyable and fabulous product I have ever used. Like I said I have used the expensive salon shampoos, and we all know how our hair feels after leaving the salon...like silk.....well I got that same feeling from this shampoo and conditioner.

The best part was the smell. I am such a smell oriented person, I mean I smell all of my produce, meats, etc at the store before I buy it, so when I cracked open the package and my hair smelled like I was rolling in herbs I was in heaven. It was clean without feeling stripped and my hair smelled fresh without the harsh smell of added perfumes, and I had to get used to the little to no sudsing since the nasty emulsifiers and detergents aren't in these products.

Then I conditioned. Mind you I have the worst hair known to man. I have chemically treated it since I was oh.....8 (I grew up in the 80's, perms were so HOT back then, I was rockin'!) I color it and then add that I live in the driest state of the union, Arizona, so I swim half the year which wreaks even more havoc on my hair. So I have to use a lot of conditioner, anti-frizz, and smoothing products. With Dr. Ron's I didn't have to use my daily routine of "Tame the Beast" smoother's. The conditioner has a wonderful citrus scent that energized me in the shower and was a great morning pick-me-up. Plus when I rinsed my hair didn't feel just soft, but smooth and silky and stayed that way even after I blow-dried my hair. Most products leave your hair feeling weighed down or they rinse out immediately leaving your hair barely conditioner or feeling repaired. All day....no fly aways, no tangles, no dry feeling, just smooth, soft, manageable, touchable, play with my hair type hair. I am in love!

Be sure to head on over to Dr. Ron's and check out all of his wonderful beauty and health products. In addition to all over well being he does offer consultations! How awesome, get a consultation on how to live an all around healthy life. Also if you go to buy his products like I am going to, be sure you let him know you found his product review on The Five Fish and that Karie Herring of The Five Fish sent you. Thank you again Dr. Ron for sharing this wonderful product with me and my family!

Make it a great Monday!

The views and opinions expressed on this blog belong purely to Karie Herring. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider, or party in question.

Wordful Wednesday

I was planning on letting this photo speak for itself, but in the spirit of Wordful Wednesday I will provide a little background and some 'splaining. The Squids love these fluorescent green golf balls and they were always fighting over who would get one.....well....Pickles always ended up with it. He ended up with it because he had a secret hiding compartment....his mouth. The picture is of each of them with their golf balls and Pickles Magoo expelling the ball from his mouth. Yes, the boy got his mothers mouth in more ways than one we think. I just love that he looks like a chicken laying an egg with this photo.

Thanks to Angie over at 7 Clown Circus I am hooked for the "Wordful Wednesday".

Fun and NO Fun

There comes a time in a child's life where they do not have fun with something new. You would think that a child who has not seen this "thing" that is sparkly, full of wonder and excitement and completely foreign to their senses would be so exciting and fun.

For the most part the new thing can be lots of fun and joy.....which can soon be shattered by a parent, whom out of sheer love and affection for their child does not let certain actions and events take place when playing with this new thing.

What is this thing you ask? Well that thing is the TUB!

The tub? You question as if my children have not taken a bath since their birth.

Yes, the tub. Yes they have been bathed, but not since infancy as bending over a tub to wash two squirmy little squids is close to impossible. So the sink became the next best thing and the shortest vehicle delivery time....baby from kitchen to kitchen sink, clean, VOILA!

So here is some fun for the first time in the bath tub. At the time the only camera available was my cell phone....HALLELUJAH for carrying that thing every where! Enjoy!