Did We Need to Go There

My blog has never been one for controversy. I leave controversy to many face-to-face communications. Body language can be read and understood, as can eye movement, facial expressions, tone. Tone is often hard to communicate in writing. One must be a skilled author to have the finesse to emit tone in the conversation. So controversy as I said is left to the true verbal arena so as not to encounter miscommunications or to misunderstand.

So my tone is about to go to a beaten path NEVER taken before. EVER. I will probably lose blog followers and I am deeply sorry. I will not yield nor apologize for my personal life, my personal decisions, something that completely affects me, with the exception of my husband as he was a very intricate part of my life in this decision.


Once upon a Thanksgiving in 2009 a young woman who spent two days prepping, cleaning, cooking and baking, not to mention caring for her three children. Might I add, two of which are twins in case you are just tuning into the Fish Film @ 11, and I work a full-time job, a real. full time job. Not just the job of mom, you see that is my first job, my real job is my third job, my second job is wife, and my fourth job is business owner. So you see I truly have FOUR FULL time jobs....ah hell five if you add all the housework. So back to it, I was cleaning up after a much enjoyed pie hole stuffing event. Family was gathered on my couch, every seat taken,  reading Black Friday ads, friends were conversing, laughs shared abound. As the crowd began to simmer and disperse I thought I need to call my dear friend who so lovingly called to share in her thanks and love on this day. But in addition to the love to be shared was the hate that this ugly world can bring. Not hate by my friend, the hate of strangers, the hate of those who put up a loving facade to avoid confrontation, the hate spewed behind anonymity to win out in some delusional war of words.

Please be advised that the images you are about to see are repulsive, obscene, disgusting, and horrid. All directed AT ME. I debated on posting these images and by rehashing information I so prayed to disappear, but the glutton in me took pictures of the proof of hate generated by people.

For privacy reasons the images were removed and can only be viewed by invitation only. 

As I said. I apologize for any and ALL of you to read this ugliness. I was so physically ill on Thursday I could barely sleep. I was shaking, I was borderline inconsolable. My husband, bless his heart, reassured me to ignore this. It would go away. It did not. The pain did not go away. These people have NOT. GONE. AWAY! The Twitter account STILL EXISTS!!! I thought the account had been deleted, however, I was wrong and hatred breeds and multiplies and yet another account can be created in anonymity so as to further the cause of hatred.

Now here is my beef. I have no problem with someone gossiping at or about me. Whatever, sticks and stones okay. But a FULL ON CHARACTER ASSASSINATION will make this Lionesses blood boil! My sweet little guppy fish exterior will molt into the full on lion bitch I am! What else....NO ONE. I do stress NO ONE has any of this information in the blogging community...oh wait. With the single exception of my sister.

YES. You know her. Brittany Greer. Brittany Hudson Greer over @ The Greer 5.

My flesh and blood. I had attempted to try to keep this between the family. A family feud that she clearly took too far in divulging my personal information to sheer strangers for their personal use to attack me. To belittle, to judge, to bring me shame, to destroy my character, to inflict pain, I can go on and on. Clearly a reprimandable offense correct? One might think considering that a third party went so far as to assassinate my good character, to attempt to destroy my friendships, my networkings, or maybe because the cretin who created this account thought it may be funny to bring pain to someone such as me. If you believe in this.....keep on being a subscriber to your community that is "generously" run and operated by Mom Dot. Because my information seems to have been so "generously" shared and detailed...although I will state that the details in these tweets are clearly misinformed, out of time line, and clearly NONE OF ANYONE'S FUCKING BUSINESS. I also encourage you to continue to be a member of a community that does love to breed controversy as my personal life so clearly became a hot topic in a forum for enjoyment. Or hell maybe just in an email but regardless, the two involved ARE members, very active members of that community. Which further suggests that the negative behavior of public humiliation, belittling and degradation is A FUCKING OKAY with these people. I would love to publicly humiliate...man...I would be such a big girl to do that.

To post pictures of random strangers and discuss their situations may they be unfortunate with other random strangers and call it "fun" or "comedic" hell albeit fucking hysterical right...just a joke.

FUCK YOU and you know who you are. Are those tweets a fucking joke to any of you? If so....I dare you to leave me your FULL NAME to leave up for public humiliation. I also dare.....no....I challenge the lowly individual who so PROUDLY created this account with the original intentions of bashing MY friend Kristin, whether you like her or not, who then decided to turn the object of their desire to me...I CHALLENGE you to come to my blog and apologize to me. Furthermore I CHALLENGE the cretin and or CRETINS who acted in such a distasteful, vulgar, unbecoming, and plebian manner to PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE to myself and Kristin on Twitter and on a blog post that shall stay posted for AN ENTIRE WEEK. To allow those who read it to show their disdain to you. To show you how much of an uncouthful coward you were and are for hiding behind anonymity, your keyboard, and indecency. I also challenge Miss "I am the Community and this is my blog" so shoot me an email...we'll discuss the details like adults.

The Phoenix Rises

With every life there is death. The story and life of the Phoenix is my favorite. Not only for the immortality but for the story that the Phoenix seems to die a painful death in it's very own flames, and rises anew from it's ashes. Today, I feel like the Phoenix.

I created a very painful death for a part of my life, for personal relationships that exist in my life, some with bearing, others with no bearing, so no real loss, however a death of me nonetheless. As I said before a painful death, one I did not want to experience, but one I did bring upon myself.

The silver lining to all of this is I am risen anew.

I have seen the err of my ways, I have learned a powerful and valuable lesson and lessons. I have gained irreplaceable friendships in this forum that I cherish to every end and they are guiding me, sharing with me, feeling with me. They too share the experiences I do on so many levels. Which is the best part about blogging, is not being alone, knowing that being at home with your kids all day that other mothers share the exact same triumphs, failures, losses, and excitement.

So here I am before you with my fledgling wings, ready to fly again. Having risen from my own fiery death, molten in my own ashes, to rise and have a life of rebirth in my blog, in my writing, and in my life. My lessons learned:

• Know your audience. I from now on will no longer post anything beyond my immediate family or the family that blogs together (sister, sister, etc).
  
• Know your friends and know your enemies, sometimes the friend is a foe.
• Never regret (which I never did, but started to, if you regret, you regret the lesson learned or fail to learn it altogether)
• Never apologize for your feelings, only apologize for hurtful actions, not the hurtful truth.

With that I am creating a new blog, completely private which I love. I will invite readers of my choosing or those who want to read it, or maybe, an idea I was kicking around in the shower, a blog by invitation only where we can share all the crap we are afraid to share anywhere else in a private, trusting, secure forum, we write what we want with no fear of reprisal or retaliation. If you are interested in becoming an author or reader please feel free to email me.
The title is rightfully titled "Letters We Never Intend to Send" where we post everything we want to say so we get the negative feelings out, no one gets hurt, and we ease the personal pain, frustration, anger, etc that we feel in a safe and secure forum.

I am back, I am ready to blog. I am finding peace in my actions, I have learned a lesson, I was the firebird who died among her life and is reborn of the ashes she left behind. Now I am leaving you with the quote that I enjoy so much from the Feng Shui Handbook, a quote that I believe fit me and the way I see myself in my own life and surroundings:

"A mythical bird that never dies, the phoenix flies far ahead to the front, always scanning the landscape and distant space. It represents our capacity for vision, for collecting sensory information about our environments and the events unfolding within it. The phoenix, with its great beauty, creates intense excitement and deathless inspiration." (feng shui Master Lam Kam Chuen)

My First, And Only, Retraction, or Edit

So many of you, as I did, thoroughly enjoyed the post about my letters I never intend to send. DH enjoyed it only half as much as we did.

I WAS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY WHEN HE READ IT!!!!

OK, in all seriousness the man giggled, and then asked for a retraction.

I told him HELL NO........but the words never left my lips. DAMN IT!

He Google messaged me......"Did you post the retraction yet? That I DID NOT clog the toilet?"

I ignored the Google message. Never happened. (LMAO)

"It was Big G's fault the toilet clogged....you know how he is?"

Again.....the retraction why? Like father like son?!

"You know he likes to use A LOT of TP and baby wipes to wipe his ass."

Yes my dear boy still uses baby wipes....he will also be the only child in the lunchroom at school using a warm, lemon scented towel to wipe his hands and face before and after eating.

Here I am on a Monday night, when I would rather be making my beer brew soap....which is OH SO DELICIOUS! You can use it as a shampoo bar too, so rocks, lots of lather, great conditioning.

OH RIGHT, sorry, so here I am posting my retraction about the "toilet and ass wiping abilities of DH." As I had promised him.....because I never break a promise....unless it has to do with our parents....then I don't promise anything....

Here is my official retraction to Mr. Fish:

My Dear Husband, I love you and at least 90% of the time your wiping abilities and flushing capabilities are adequate. However, at least 10% do require some tweaking. But I am willing to accept my wrong doing in that the dear boy Big G was the single, sole, and ONLY culprit for the toilet clogging incident that I, yes me ALONE, had to clean up. Please accept my public, very public apologies for the misrepresentation of your business with the latrine. Good day.

I can't wait to see his reaction to this post.
I haven't been able to stop laughing since I started typing!!
I love you dear.